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stupidfool
damnit i'm stupid. i have a very important final tomorrow. molly convinced me that the library was just as quiet, with as much room to spread out, and slightly more normal than the break room at a grocery store. so around 11:30, i went to the library to study (without an away message-sorry jay). i made myself a promise-i wouldn't leave until 2 a.m. i had to study. so i did study, for about 15 minutes. and then my mind started to wander, and it never came back to schoolwork. i stayed there for nearly 2 and a half hours, and i only studied for 15 minutes! i'm so fucking frustrated. i'm going to fail this final. now, i have the chance to change that, but i won't. i know i need to study to do well on the test. and when the papers aren't sitting in front of me, studying is a good idea. but put them out there, and they are the last thing on my mind. i'm off daydreaming about marie, thinking about christine, wondering if i'm going to get to see holly when i go home... and i don't know what to do. i just can't study. maybe it's just today. maybe i can go to sleep right now and wake up early, and tomorrow i will be able to study. i should at least get another 15 minutes of concentration, which is better than nothing, i guess... i don't know if there's something wrong with my attention span or if there's just something wrong with my willpower, but something's wrong with something here because i'm going to fucking fail this final.

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