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stupidfool

I want to post about camping and the weekend and the good things and the bad things and the facts but I can't think. I can't do anything. I'm so tired and I don't sleep and all I want is her, to curl up in her arms and have her stroke my hair and promise it will be ok, but what's even not ok in the first place?? Only that I want that from her?! I need a new battle to fight. I don't understand what is in a normal person's head all day? What do you think about when you're driving? What do you think about when you're showering? When you're waking up or falling asleep? When you're doing mindless tasks like cooking dinner? When you can't focus on work at work? All I can think about all the time is her. They tell me I need to focus on me because I can't control other people and instead I need I need to focus on things I can control, my own thoughts and my own emotional responses, take a deep breath and move off of her and onto me, but that's not specific. What about me? What is there to think about that could possibly take over my head the way she does?

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While driving, I usually am trying to find a good song on my iphone and thinking about music or the traffic sucking or car accidents or weather. I think about shaving in the shower or whatever the task at hand is in the shower. Usually I like baths though and again I like to listen to music and that's usually what i'm thinking of. I usually read a book before I go to sleep, so when I actually go to sleep i'm too tired to think... but if I am thinking I def think about sex with women i am attracted too (and the horrible thing is I have a girlfriend and it's never her and never will be) My best advice is: READ!! Reading can get you into a complete world outside of your own head. Work, you're pretty much screwed unless you find someone to chit chat with and get into conversation about unrelated things.

Hope your camping was fun.

Oh thanks, that's a good one-I used to pay a lot more attention to music. I'd always know all the latest music from all the genres because I'd listen to the radio all the time and pay attention to the music and the artist and the song title... I tried putting on music while I showered last night (after she texted me back and rescued me from my mounting despair :-/ ) and it helped a lot!

i also wouldn't call myself "normal." who's normal anyway? isn't everyone fucked up in some sort of way?

Driving I would say I think about work, but I'm normally leaving work. Or working out and that's because I'm headed to workout. Otherwise my time is filled with softball, Jude, Jeff, and the puppies. No time to think. Lol

My time is SO FULL that you would think I wouldn't have time to think either! I'm never home, always on the go, things always going on... I've had the vacuum out for 3 weeks now because I intended to run it, but still haven't had time!!
Maybe it's because work (for 8 hours a day) is very boring and I'm easily distracted by my own thoughts... But mostly it seems that no matter how busy I keep myself, there is always more than enough time for the thoughts to creep in and overtake me! :-( I just want someplace to attempt to redirect them, but I've spent so long with specific girls being my world that it can't even think of any "normal" things to try to think about instead!

I understand this sentiment all too well. I fell in love with a straight woman, and she consumes most of my thoughts. When I'm not thinking about her, I think about religion. I've been thinking about starting a YouTube channel of my own to make religious videos, and I spend time thinking about the possible videos I could make. I'm also very interested in science. I think about that a lot.

Hi, stupid fool. Seen you over at the addme thingy and Im looking to make friends.

You just need to make new friends, doe. Its a poor use of time obsessing like this.

- mark

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