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stupidfool
damn, i'm addicted to this thing. last night, i got home from work and april was here. it was her boyfriend's mom's birthday and he went home for the night, leaving her in my room. i could barely force myself to go to bed without updating. but i did it. i can beat this addiction...

anyway, yesterday i went to all my classes, and a make-up lab for the one i skipped tuesday. then i went to work. the second i stepped inside, i was back to the nervous, sad, scared version of me. it's become second nature. marie came through my line for her break and asked 'feeling better, sweetie?' i tell her yeah, a little, and wonder why she's calling me that too. mark was telling me all these dumb jokes to try to cheer me up. after a while, they were so dumb that they were almost funny. llike something about elephants in a bathtub with a microwave. it didn't matter what the punch line was; it was hilarious that this 17-year old was sitting around, telling clean jokes about elephants in a bathtub.

then i went on break and tasha was up there and i find out that the reason i haven't seen jane yet is becuase jane called off. and jim called off too. i am lucky. there is nobody here that i have to worry about.

then later, i'm on 3 and marie is on 4. she finds this green bean and brings it over to me. she says 'look loser! i have a fun toy,' and shows me the green bean.
i comment 'it doesn't look very fun to me.'
she says it is, a pries part of it apart and pulls the bean out. she says 'here, eat this.'
i say 'no way.'
she shoves it towards my mouth and says 'come on.'
i back away and say 'no, you eat it.'
she asks if i'll give her a dollar to eat it.
i tell her 'no way! but i'll laugh at you.'
she makes a face, says 'that's not a very good reward,' and throws the bean at me. i duck. she rips off little pieces of it and throws them at me. i duck and block them, and then when she gets a customer, i pick them all up. when the customer leaves, i throw them back at her. she throws some while i'm bending over to pick up one, and it almost goes down my shirt. she says 'i'm going to laugh when one goes down your shirt.' and then she starts aiming to get one down my shirt. she comes close, but never makes it. i'm almost laughing now, and she says 'see, i told you a green bean is a fun toy. and it got you to smile, too.' true... if a guy tried to throw green bean pieces down my shirt, i would say he was attempting to flirt, sort of. i don't think i should make the same conclusion for marie.

then marie and i both leave at 10, and i catch the bus back here, where april is awake and preventing me from updating. so i go to bed at 11:45. i haven't been in bed before 2 or 3 am in forever... wow. you can tell my body wasn't used to sleeping at such a regular time, becuase i woke up again at 3 in the morning, and couldn't fall back asleep until after 5. so i wound up getting not so much sleep after all. but i went to every single class today. that's 2 days in a row!

my freinds from home, cindy and laura, are coming up to visit tonight, and they're staying the night. that makes 2 nights in a row i won't be updating. i don't know how i'm going to survive when i have to go home for 3 months and not update once the whole time! i have to find the password to that stupid child-proof thing they have on my internet.

in a few hours, terrie and jim will be working together. i am scared...

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