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ways to come out of the closet to molly and aaron
stupidfool


  • say 'i'm gay.'

  • tell the most recent terrie story (or if there isn't one, just make something up), and then add, 'and her girlfriend came to pick her up... terrie's lucky.'
    when they ask why, say, 'because she has a girlfriend... i want a girlfriend.'

  • say, 'i want to be bisexual.'
    when they ask why, answer, 'because it'd be interesting to like a guy, for once.'

  • bring up rashid again, and wonder if he likes me. clarify, 'i like him just fine... but not like that, you know? i just don't swing that way.'

  • talk about marie a lot. drop hints... 'i really like marie,' and 'marie is comfy,' and maybe eventually, they'll catch on.

  • get marie to come over here and sleep with me. be loud. the walls are thin; they'll figure it out.

  • write a letter to them, just telling the truth, because maybe it'll be easier if i write it down.

  • send them the online quiz i made about myself, where you test your friends, and the last question gives away my sexuality.

  • play that melissa etheridge song that's not really by her, called, 'i'm a lesbian.' put it on repeat, real loud, over and over and over until they ask what's up with this song. then say 'it's my new theme song.' if they look at me funny or ask why, sing along, 'cause i'm a lessssssbian...'

  • go downtown and buy a whole bunch of rainbow stuff, and one night when they're here, put it all on and parade in front of them until they're forced to notice and comment.

  • have somebody else tell them for me. jay... marie... jim...

  • find the letter i sent jim a long time ago, promising him the whole story. have them read it, and then ask if they want to know the whole story. (she did when i wrote the letter.) if they do, give it to them, from the fear of terrie up to the jim situation up to the harrassment problem. include coming out to christine, if they're still listening (just because i like christine and any story's better with her in it).

  • one day, explain what bad means to me and rashid. later, call myself bad, and then clarify that i mean that in the same way rashid means it. (because i seem to have better luck identifying as bad than gay.)



that's all i have. constructive critisim is welcome and i'm going to bed because i don't even know how to spell critisizm... it's that late.

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