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debbie: 3; rest of the world: 0 :-D
stupidfool
i guess there's quite a business in cashing counterfeit payroll checks. i caught a guy today, and it was great! when i went to that check class with marie, they taught us what to look for, and i saw it with this one... so me and kelly called jane, and she called the bank and then the cops, and kelly and i took turns talking to the guy, to try and keep him until the cops came. he was all nervous and shifty, and saying, 'there's a cab out there waiting on me... i'll just cash it somewhere else, if it's going to be a problem...'
i reassure him, 'oh no, don't worry, she's just verifying the account with the bank... it will only take a second, once she gets through.'
he's sooo nervous that i just want to laugh. it's obvious that this isn't a real payroll check. if it was a real check, why would it bother him that we're calling the bank to verify the funds? he's nervous because he knows that there's a pretty good chance that we're calling the cops...
the second i turn my back, he takes off running out the door. i jump up on the counter to watch him out the high window, and he's running across the parking lot, towards this silver car... nice cab, buddy... the car peels out of the parking spot, meets him halfway, and the guy is barely in the car before the driver takes off again. i get the license plate number as they head up to the driveway. the guy glances nervously at the store at they drive by. he sees me looking out the window, gets this terrified look on his face, screams something at the two in the front seat, and then as they turn out into the street, he looks out the back window and holds up his index finger at me, like saying 'one minute, i'll be right back.'
uh huh, i bet you will...
we have the check, the id, and his fingerprint. we figured the id was a fake... but the cops inform us that the person who the id belongs to (we don't think it was the same guy) has a few felonies on his record.
yeeeeah, i feel mighty triumphant. and i'm pretty glad i went to that check class, too. at the time, i liked it because it meant i got to spend the whole day with marie, but i would have taken that check had i not gone to the class... we would have lost that $700...

at the end of my shift, marie came in. she asked me how closing with teena was, and i told her teena was patient and it was fine. marie asked teena why she was nice to me and not to her. teena answered, 'i didn't want to make debbie cry.'
marie asked, 'you wanted to make me cry?!?!'
'i didn't make you cry...'
'if you only knew! i went home and cried to my momma every night!'
teena didn't believe her for a while, and finally marie convinced her that she really had...

a lady told joel that i was the most helpful service desk person she had encountered, and she really liked that i was willing to ask other people when i didn't know something, instead of just telling her i didn't know, or it wasn't my department, or it was out of my control. she filled out a whole good-worker form thing, and i got a coupon for a free ice cream cone at graeters.

then i was wandering around, not caring about marie. (this story isn't going to come out near as well on paper, when you can't hear the tone of voice being used, but i'll try anyway.)
sam (the girl) was standing in the low doorway, waiting to talk to jane. marie was helping a customer, all nice and polite and grammatically correct. then she turned to me and said, 'hey debbie, could you grab the break list, please?'
then she overhears teena saying something to jane, and she calls, 'teena, don't you be talkin' 'bout havin' to pay no bills, girl, i know you ain't payin' none a dem... you know you still livin' wit yo momma!'
sam exclaims, 'god, why do you do that?!?'
marie asks, 'what?'
'what!?' sam asks, 'what do you think? debbie, dear, do you think that you could fetch the break list for me, dahhhling? uh-oh, time to switch personalities... teena, girl, you still be livin' wit yo' momma! dawg, i ain't got no time for none of that, my nigga...'
teena and jane are staring at sam like she's crazy. i'm cracking up because she's voicing what i've been thinking since the day i met marie, and she's exaggerating so much (tone of voice and hand motions and posture included) that it's hilarious.
teena asks (and she's serious), 'what are you talking about?'
sam answers, 'don't tell me i'm the only one who noticed that! come on!' she looks at teena, then jane (who both stare at her blankly), and then finally at me, and i stop laughing long enough to tell her, 'oh yeah, i noticed! i've noticed that for about two years...'
sam laughs and says, 'see, and doesn't it drive you crazy?!?!?!'
i choose to remain silent on that one, and she doesn't really wait anyway, before continuing, 'because it drives me crazy! it's fucking annoying! just be yourself!'
marie looks hurt, and teena sticks up for her half-heartedly (maybe because she feels bad for making her cry as a rookie) and shrugs, 'maybe that is herself,' and then she goes to help a customer. jane goes back into the office.
marie looks down at the ground and says, quietly, 'i don't know what you mean.'
sam rolls her eyes and says, 'sure, right now, it's sam, dear, i have no idea what you could be talking about, but when we all leave, you'll be telling teena or anthony about how sam, that fuckin' bey-otch don't know nothin' and once you get yo' self a fly ride and start ballin' outta control, you gun go holla back at yo' dawgs at da crib, and y'all gon make sho' sam know she wack, aiight?'
i'm not sure if that sentence made any sense, but it's hilarious anyway. i'm laughing when i agree, 'fo shizzle, mah nizzle!'
me and sam crack up. marie is standing between us, watching us laugh, looking hurt and left out and upset, but i couldn't stop laughing, even if i wanted to... sam and i finally calm down, and then we look at each other, look at marie, and start laughing again.
marie whines, 'stop...' and for a minute, i think she's going to cry.
sam laughs and says, 'don't you mean girl, ya' best be stoppin' dat befo' i go get mah niggas in mah white suburban ghetto and we be teachin' you a little sumthin' sumthin' 'bout who you gon' be makin' funna, ya' piece of shiz-nit!'
me and sam are laughing again, and i tell her, 'yeah, i'm pretty sure that's what she meant,' and we just laugh.
for about 5 minutes, marie keeps trying to say things, or to defend herself, but every time she starts to speak, me or sam cut her off, ghetto-izing whatever she started to say. it's the hardest i've laughed in a long time, and the harder we laugh, the more flustered and upset marie gets.
finally, alyssa needs marie's help over on self-check, and sam and i stay in the low doorway, still laughing. we finally calm down, and she shakes her head at me and says, 'god, i've needed to get that off my chest for a long time.'
i tell her, 'oh yeah, i know what you mean...'
now that we're done, jane comes out to talk to sam, and she shakes her head at us and looks out at marie.
i look out there too, and marie is walking slowly away from the u-scan, her head down, looking like she's about to cry. i guess i should feel bad... but you know what? i don't. i just feel triumphant. i just feel like telling her, 'you see how that feels? cry, go ahead and cry. this is for the all the times that you physically hurt me, or colored all over my face, or teased me or humiliated me in front of everybody, and then got mad at me when i tried to do the same to you. this is for all the silly games you play, and for the way you toy with my emotions. this is for all the times i've laid in my bed, alone, and cried for you. you know my pain is your fault. i only cry for you because you want me to. so now, i hope you cry. i want to see you cry. in fact, i hope you spend the rest of your life crying.'
i don't apologize. i don't intend to apologize. she ignores me, and i don't care. a month ago, i would be hanging on her, pleading, 'i'm sorry, i'm sorry marie, don't be mad, i was just kidding...' not today. today, i feel good. i don't need her to make me feel good about myself. forget her. this time, i'm going to win.
it doesn't take long. after about a half hour, right before i go home, she comes over to me like she hadn't ever been mad at me, and puts her arm around me and puts her head on my shoulder and tells me she loves me... and it throws half that resolve right out the window. i still like her, when she wants me to. i know i could stay mad as long as she stayed mad... and she probably realized it... she probably sensed that this was different, when i didn't immediately go begging for forgiveness... she probably realized that she was losing her grip on me, and that if she wanted it to change, she was going to have to do something to change it... i'm a little frustrated. overall, it was a good day, and i'm still proud of myself for all the good things, but i wish marie would just give it up... i wish she would let go of me...

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