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stupidfool
marie thinks it's a good thing that her mom is dating that guy. she says her mom seems much happier with the guy around. i say, 'yeah, having a boyfriend does that to girls.'
she laughs, and i add, 'well, some girls...'
she grins and says, 'not my little debbie...'
why is that the coolest thing ever?
i think i'm ready to be out of the closet. it feels so neat to have out-of-the-closet conversations, even when it's just something little like that...

i think i should come out of the closet to terrie. i don't think i should make an event of it, but it just seems like it's a logical thing to do. i like her, she doesn't seem to hate me any more, she talks to me, she's gay, and she most likely knows that i'm gay... so why should i hide it? and if i get happy talking to her about death and warm coats, just imagine how good i'd feel if i talked to her about being gay... terrie's always showing me pictures of girls and saying, 'that girl is hot.' how hard would it be for me to agree with her, one of those times? i think, if i ever get the chance, i should definitely let her know i'm gay.

right, and now i'm back to the initial topic. marie, and the whole living thing.
for christmas, her mom got her a tool set. (she knows this from snooping.) she says that seems like something you'd give to a kid who was moving out... and she says that with this guy around, her mom is already worrying less about constantly keeping track of marie... she says that maybe, come christmas, her mom will give marie her blessing to move out...
plus, kelly is really talking like she thinks she's going to get the transfer, and jane is really telling marie that she'd vote for marie to fill the position, if kelly left.
it won't happen. i know that neither of those will work out... her mom isn't going to change her mind. and marie won't get kelly's position, even if kelly gets the transfer. i know this, because when billie (or maybe kristen, i forget) was leaving, christine told me that they were thinking about having her or jp step up to fill that position, and i thought that was a good idea. jane said that she wanted one of them to fill it... but neither of them did. they brought in somebody from a different store. jane said she wanted to move me into the office, 1 and a half years ago. she just now got around to doing it. jane has the best of intentions, and i don't think she's lying to marie when she says that she'd like to give marie the position... but i think she'd also like to give alyssa the position. and she'd like to give me the position. and she'd like to give some random person from another store the position... i just don't think it will happen, that's all.
i think marie is getting her hopes up. i'm trying not to get mine up, because i know better, but i can't help it... just listening to her talk about it makes me all excited, and i really feel like we could wind up living together...

i think i had more to say, but i'm getting really tired, and it's 11:15 in the morning. (i know that might not sound like a good bedtime to you, but trust me, it's mine.)

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I think you should rent the movie Show Me Love well actually I doubt if you will be able to rent it but maybe you can buy it or something. It's a really good movie (about gay young love). The only catch is it is in Swedish (is that the name of Sweden's language or do they speak dutch?) so you have to read subtitles. I have a new love for subtitled movies so this is fine for me... Either way the movie is great.

Swedish. I was going to teach myself Swedish...but that was before I was going to teach myself Russian...and both of those initiatives were years after I wanted to learn Dutch...and I still don't know any of them. :-p
Thanks for reading this pointless comment. hahaha

lol, i have a strange obsession with learning languages... spanish was the first one, and i still practice my spanish with anybody who will listen... we had a german exchange student at our school one year, and i wanted him to teach me german so bad... it took me 3 weeks to learn how to say 'i'm a hot dog' (don't ask me why we started with that), and after that, he gave up on me. one summer, i decided i was going to teach myself sign language, so i got a few books from the library, but i never did get past the alphabet. and my latest obsession is hindi-i ask rashid every day for a new word, but for some reason, he likes to teach me them in pairs, and i wind up mixing up those two words forever more...

hmmm... i don't know how i feel about subtitled movies... i don't think i watch movies like a normal person... i don't really watch them, a lot of the time. i wind up looking at the ceiling, or seeing what's going on in the other room, or watching dust particles, and my understanding of the movie usually comes mostly from listening. it's not really that often, that i get distracted, but it's probably enough that i'd have trouble following a movie if i couldn't pick up stuff from listening.

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