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stupidfool
i accidentally slept through my first 2 classes. i went to my 3rd and alana was already there. it seemed a little weird to me. but marie told me last night that it was going to seem weird to me, even if it wasn't weird, just because i expect that. and she's probably right. maybe it was perfectly normal to alana, and only weird to me. we didn't talk as much as usual, and we didn't write notes... but usually, i'm probably the one who starts that, and today, i was scared to say anything to her, because it felt like avoiding the real subject.
after class, she left, and said nothing about the bachelorette party.

in my 4th class, i discovered that i have two midterms on friday and one on monday. i think i picked a really bad time to come out of the closet. it's all i can think about, because it feels so unfinished, but somehow, i have to make myself study for 3 midterms... and it's not going to help that i've only been to about 2 classes total since i came out...

when i got home, i remembered that sometime early in february, i was supposed to schedule for classes. i could have looked it up, but instead, i asked alana, because i wanted to talk to her... it turns out that i was supposed to schedule for classes on monday. i forgot. so i scheduled today, and discovered that my gay class has been canceled! the gay class was going to be the highlight of my quarter, and they got rid of it! now i will no longer be on campus on wednesday nights. i will no longer be unavailable to work on wednesday nights. and i no longer will be taking a class with a bunch of gay people. :-( how am i going to have a gay quarter without it? i am upset.
but while i'm talking to alana, she asks about work, and i tell her i'm off at 9, and she asks if i'm coming over. i ask, 'can i?'
she says 'YES!'
so i guess i'll go over there. and maybe we'll avoid the subject some more, or maybe we'll talk about it. i think just the fact that i'm not running away is good enough for now.

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how is it that this appears at night, after all the other entries on my friends page posted at night, but the time says 3:11pm?


i was running late, so i just hit update and ran to work and the bachelorette party, and when i got back, saw it hadn't posted... i guess they implemented limits on the posts per day, but they must have screwed it up (since i'm nowhere near 20). but limits are back off now, so i re-posted it, but moved the time back to when i actually wrote it.

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