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stupidfool
jane said that teena said that i'm her favorite office helper, and jane agreed. i was going to be honored, but then i remembered that jane is good at knowing what to say, and maybe she was only saying it because she wanted me to feel honored, not because it was true.

jane also made some sarcastic remark about how marie's entire goal in life was to get to be an acsc. i guess that just makes me wonder about what jane is telling marie. i know that marie thinks that jane thinks that marie has a good chance of getting the job... but i also know that marie doesn't realize that jane thinks it's dumb that she wants the job so bad, which is basically what she said to me today. i like jane because she's really good at knowing what to say, and i know she understands me... but it's hard to know what to believe when people are so good at saying what you want to hear.

terrie came in to the store today. i like terrie. i really do. sometime i'll talk about terrie and the pictures, but for now, let me just say that terrie isn't hot, but i still can't take my eyes off her. i didn't say a word to her. i listened and watched and was amazed and thrilled that she was there, but i didn't even say hi to her. and then i watched as she went outside to keep jane company on her break. right after they went out the door, tasha got back from break and asked me if i wanted to take mine... i did! i wanted to go sit outside with terrie and jane and talk to them, jane who understands me and terrie who is the perfect lesbian... but i was scared to talk to them. they're so perfect, and i'm just so debbie... so i told tasha i would wait. and by the time i went on break, terrie was long gone.

alyssa wants me to bring her a shot glass from t4's school, as a souvenir. i said i would try.

i haven't studied yet. i'm really tired... i did the dishes and i'm putting my last load of laundry in the dryer. i think i'm going to clean stuff up around here, get a little packed, go over the directions, and then go to bed. if i get in bed by midnight, i'll make sure that i get up by 10, which will give me 3 hours to study before the final. i just can't bring myself to care. i can't make myself study. i don't want to do well. i just want it to be over...

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