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stupidfool
this morning, i went to the eye doctor. i've had glasses for about 8 years now, but i don't wear them. they're a pain. they get jostled around anytime you put your head in your arms or anything like that, you can't wear them for sports, and they fog up at the slightest change in temperature. i just deal with my less than perfect vision. the problem is that every year, my vision gets less and less perfect. i'm starting to get headaches, so i ocassionally have to wear the glasses. this time, i decided to get contacts, for the convenience. let me tell you just how convenient they are. i spent exactly 32 minutes getting them into my eyes. for 10 minutes, my eyes wouldn't stop tearing. when they finally did, i wore them for 2 hours, putting rewetting drops in my eyes every 15 minutes or so. then i spent 28 minutes getting them out of my eyes. can you beat that for convenience? i sure hope this gets easier.

then around 3, when school let out, jamie called me up. her birthday was this weekend. jamie is easy to buy for. she likes lots of fun games, so i just went to toys r us. toys r us is my kind of store. i don't wanna grow up cuz if i did, i wouldn't be a toys r us kid... anyway, for her birthday, her parents gave her these fun toys: http://shop.store.yahoo.com/esportsonline/msbump46.html she got 3. she had a friend over (who was 12, so at least i'm not hanging out with 2 11-year-olds, right...?), and they wanted a third person to come play. that was me. we had a great time, just running around, running into each other, falling down , and bouncing around. we decided that we should get a bunch of them, and play soccer or football or some sport, all wearing belly bumpers.

then i had to go to work, so i ran up to my house, changed my shirt, and took off. i had been there about an hour when sandy came in for the day, and pointed out that my knees were green. i looked down, and they were very green. i hadn't even checked to see what my pants looked like. that's absolutely my fault. i should have figured that rolling around in the grass for an hour might give me a few grass stains... i spent the rest of the evening feeling extremely self-conscious, and hoping nobody noticed my bright green knees.

everyone there (both workers and customers) asks me the same questions-'how's school?' and 'when are you leaving?' and lots of other similar questions. now i can tell them that i'm leaving soon. thursday is my last day at the store. i've been telling people this all night, and at 10:30, margaret goes to leave. margaret is this nice old lady who always talks to me. she retired a few years ago, and just works here for a little extra money, and to keep busy. i introduced her to my dad once, and now when i'm at school, she always asks him how i'm doing. she's one of my favorite old ladies because she's really friendly, but not dingy like some of them. anyway, today, she comes up to me before she leaves, and starts saying 'good luck in school.' i tell her i've got 3 more days, and she tells me that she's off those 3 days. so i tell her that i'll be around at christmas, and even if i don't work, i'll stop up to visit. she's standing there, and i know that this is the type of situation where a hug would be appropriate. i can't touch her though. there aren't very many people that i feel comfortable touching. i've known this lady for a year and a half now, and i like her just fine, but there's no way i'm hugging her. she takes a step closer, and like it's a coincidence, i turn to bag the one item that marsha is ringing up. she tells me 'well, study hard. don't forget to stop in and visit. i know you'll do well.' all this is said in that final kind of tone, that you reserve only for goodbyes, and i know hugs go with this tone. but i can't. i tell her 'don't worry; i'll be around.' and she leaves, and i feel guilty. what's wrong with me? why can't i just give this sweet old lady a hug? it's just me. i don't touch people. i wouldn't even hug my grandparents until last year, when i started doing it just to make them happy. i still hate it. it makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward. i will never be a touchy-feely person. people who are like that usually make me feel sort of panicked and helpless. (holly doesn't count, of course.) i just want to get away.

ok, that's about it. soon, i'll be back in columbus with christine! (i hate myself for thinking about that in such a positive light, becuase i know when i get back into it, i'll just be frustrated...)

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