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stupidfool
it's early. i need to sleep. but today, i got up and went to work. rashid was there. the other day, rashid and i were inspecting the keyboard, and we found this button with no mark on it. we pressed it and it did nothing. we figured you must have to press it in sequence with something else for it to do something... i asked if he knew what it did, and rashid said 'jp told me once, but i forget.' he tried to remember, but he couldn't. later, when terrie was by me, i asked her what it did, and she didn't know. so rashid was by me and we were talking about it again. he said 'jp knew.' i said 'well too bad jp's gone.' he said 'we should call him.' i laughed and asked if he knew his phone number. he said 'well, no...' i told him i asked terrie and she didn't know. he laughed and asked 'why, terrie's dating jp?' i was confused until i realized he thought i meant i asked terrie for jp's phone number. then i was amused by the thought of terrie dating jp, so i told him yeah. we both knew she wasn't (i don't think he knows that she's a lesbian, though), but it became our little joke. every time we see her, we talk to each other and wonder aloud how her and jp are doing. today we were being goofy and she came by and he asked 'terrie, do you suppose you could tell us jp's phone number?' we were both laughing, and she was slightly confused. he says 'your secret's out. we know you love jp.' she laughs and sort of plays along. she says 'oh, you got me. but really, that's old news. now, i love jeff,' and she nods towards an oblivious jeff, a few lanes over. the thought of her dating jeff is almost as amusing as the thought of her dating jp. we laugh and she heads off. rashid and i watch her retreating back. i try to look away, but i find myself staring at her ass anyway. she is fucking hot. rashid says, with feeling, 'jeff is lucky.' we both know she wasn't serious about loving jeff, but that's not the point. the point is that i know he's staring at her ass too, thinking the exact same thing as me, and i can't help but laugh. i wonder what he would do if i told him i agreed...

marie was there for a little. i have a small problem with marie. every time i see her, i can think of nothing but sex. not of me having sex with her, or anything like that. i think of her having sex with other people. i picture her trying to seduce christine, or her and alyssa together, or her and that guy she came into the store with... i hear christine's not-so-nice description of marie in my mind, and instead of being disgusted by it, like christine was, i am intrigued. it's all i can think about, and it makes carrying on a normal conversation (something i couldn't do even before i had this problem) next to impossible.

rashid's supposed to go on break. erin comes to take over for him but he says he doesn't want his break yet, so terrie tells erin to give me a break instead. when i come back, terrie gives me my drawer and says 'you know where to go.' i say 'no i don't.' she says 'yes you do.' i am confused and tell her i really don't. she says patiently 'yes you do. where do you think you should go?' and then i remember rashid needs a break and i tell her that and she says 'i knew you knew.' she feels like christine. that conversation, it felt like christine. it makes me smile. terrie is turning into christine. terrie is leaving. this can't be good, but right now it is...

when i get off, i sit upstairs and do homework for 2 hours. rashid offers to take me home so i don't have to sit back here until molly gets off. i thank him for the offer, and then tell him truthfully that i'll never get my homework done if i go home. i am only productive when there's nothing else to be doing. he laughs. i take a little break downstairs after the store has closed. it's really strange. it's a completely different place at night. there's all these people who i don't know at all. tomight's not a normal night, becuase the new sales start tomorrow morning, so they do all the big-deal cleaning today, plus they have all the people switching the tags... it's neat. i walk around and talk to kiera and then molly while they stock. andy (molly's boss) talks to me a little too. then i go back upstairs and do some more homework until molly gets off work and we go home. it was a really productive night. i am proud of myself.

then here, i eat and waste time until now. it's 6:15 a.m. i have to work in less than 8 hours. i should sleep now.

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