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thanksgiving break
stupidfool
fly and d dragged me shopping the day after thanksgiving. i bought some pants and then followed them around for a very long time. i hate shopping.

today my parents went to the high school girls' basketball games. d plays jv, and i was alseep for that game, but they told me to come up for fly's game, and to bring jake. we were a little late, becuase neither jake nor i really care about being punctual in this sort of situation. when we got there, fly was already the leading scorer, and she held that title for the whole game. jake plays basketball too. he's a little like me, though. he likes to goof off, have fun, and play the sport when it's convenient. my parents go to jake's games sometimes, and all he gets afterwards are lectures about how he played lazy, or how he would have made those free throws if he would practice them occasionally, or how he wasn't paying attention on this play... so i sit next to my mom, and jake sits on the other side of me. for the entire game, he's sarcastically lecturing fly under his breath. 'you didn't make that shot with enough flourish... lazy ass, next time dunk that. why don't you just get up there and dunk that... what, only 2 points? my god, why didn't you step back and take the 3-pointer? if you had been paying closer attention in practice, you would have seen that opportunity...' he keeps up this rambling until some girl from the other team slaps one of our girls across the face, and they call a technical foul. the coach has fly shoot the free throws, and jake protests, this time audibly, 'she couldn't make a free throw to save her life when i used to play her in the driveway! what's he have her shooting them for?' she makes both shots. he's quiet for the rest of the game.

on thanksgiving, we have the whole family over to our house, and there's way too many people sitting around the table for just one conversation. fly was at one end of the table, between me and d. the adults were having boring conversations, like adults usually do (please don't remind me that i am an adult), so fly and d and me were being goofy. fly and i started singing master p, and then we start talking about how 'shaniqua don't live here no more', and then we start analyzing the name 'shaniqua,' and somehow we wind up talking about names that contain words, so you can shorten the name to the word. (which you can't do with shaniqua, so i don't know quite how we got into that.) like jessica. you could call her 'sick' becuase when you say 'jessica', you hear 'sick'. i dunno, it wasn't a normal conversation to begin with. when she says this rice girl pops into my head, so i say 'yeah! like christine's black girl has the word 'rice' in her name, only i can't remember her name.' she asks, in surprise, 'christine has a black kid?' (she's heard lots about christine too-what can i say?-i really do like to talk about her.) i say 'no.' she says 'whadda ya mean, her girl, then?' i didn't mean to bring this topic up... how can i forget to think before i speak? but i answer like it's no big deal, and say 'oh, i mean her girlfriend.' d was up getting seconds. the adults were talking. jake and the cousins are at the other end of the table, to prevent jake and me from fighting. only fly hears this, and she reacts with shock: 'christine's gay?!?!?!?!?!?!' i reply calmly 'no, bi.' she says 'whoa...' and she's making a disgusted face. then she stops and says 'i shouldn't say that. i'm being prejudiced, aren't i?' then d comes back and she's come up with the idea of calling people names that rhyme, and wants to call our aunt 'helen melon,' and since we were being silly to begin with, we think this is way more funny than we should. we start laughing and the topics of christine and bisexuality are gone as quickly as they came up.

so i wound up taking christine out of her closet to about half of my family members, but i'm still in my closet. i wonder if christine would be mad if she knew that i'm telling people she doesn't even know about her sexuality. i don't really mean to tell, especially not fly. but christine never told me i couldn't tell. everything she's told me i couldn't tell, i haven't said a word, even when it practically kills me. like molly and i talk about marie all the time, and i know some stuff that i just wanna say. or kristen... i know some stuff about kristen that i promised not to tell, and people start saying stuff about her, and i want to correct them, but instead i keep silent. i don't even write them here, becuase i said i wouldn't tell, and maybe this is telling. i'm being ok, right? she wouldn't be mad if she knew i told people she was bi, would she? she is out of the closet... so it shouldn't matter, should it?

that wasn't in chronological order. i don't care.

now i'm back to columbus. molly checked my schedule for me, and i have to work early in the morning tomorrow. of course, this could be molly's idea of a sick joke, and when i drag my ass out of bed at that ungodly hour, she'll laugh and tell me she was just kidding, and i can go back to sleep... right, but i'm probably going to have to work that shift, so i'm probably going to go to sleep now.

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