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stupidfool
my head hurts. since i woke up 14 hours ago, i have taken 11 advil. (i know it says not to take more than 6 in 24 hours, but last year, i took 23 in a minute, and i didn't die, or even get a stomachache from it. can you build up an immune system to advil? because the 10 haven't really been doing much to help.)

i worked. marie was there and was wearing her polo shirt with all the buttons unbuttoned and kept talking to me, while leaning on her elbows on the counter so if i attempted to look at any part of her, i wound up seeing down her shirt. i think she must have thought it was a little strange that i had an entire conversation with her while staring at the ceiling.

anthony said 'jim was just looking for you, like 2 minutes ago... something about your date.' i rolled my eyes and said he was making that up. he said he wasn't. i went up to the break room and checked jim's schedule, and he had left 2 hours ago. if anthony made that up, i wonder how much of what he says is actually true. i think that makes it a lot less likely that i'll be believing anthony anytime soon...

i was in the break room with taysha for 15 minutes and i could think of nothing to say to her. she said nothing to me, either. it was 15 minutes of dead silence, and it wasn't very much fun. then taysha left and grant and dylan came in and i had a nice conversation with them and i wish it were as easy to talk to her as it is to talk to them.

i took an extra hour from helen's shift because i had to wait for molly anyway. it was dead in the store, and i was dying for christine to come in... taysha was gone, marie was gone, jim was gone... it was pretty much just teena and art, and i was calm. the dull ache in my head just made me feel a little sleepy, and helped the calm. i wasn't searching for terrie's ass or trying to decide if i wanted to look at marie or worrying about what jim thought or if anthony was going to pop up and start teasing me... i wandered over to get some change from art, glanced at the door, and the thought entered my head nah, i don't really want her to come tonight and mess up my peaceful mood... then i wondered where the hell that thought had come from, because of course i want her to come. why would i even think that i don't? i know she affects me and i know i wouldn't feel calm at all if she walked in the door, but it's worth it. she's christine... how could it not be worth it? i miss her... she said she would be back to check on me... i wish she would give me a schedule or something... this would be so much easier if i knew what days to look forward to, instead of getting my hopes up every night, only to wind up disappointed. tomorrow night billie and art close. that would be a very good time for her to come in. art doesn't know her. billie wouldn't care. maybe tomorrow christine will come... is it bad to keep hoping like this? what if she never comes?

i wish i could stick my head in a big cold bowl of jello.

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I hate jello but I feel your pain. It's up there with "I wonder if sh'll call. When is she gonna call? She said she would call me." UGH! I'm going back to bed.

~Jay~

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