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stupidfool
i woke up early and went to work. i was pretty tired, and i was napping all over countertops and stuff. after i had been there about an hour and a half, i heard sam call 'terrie!' that woke me up real fast, but i thought it would be bad to show it, so instead, i made an effort to act even more sleepy than i already was. i looked once, just to get a good picture of her ass, and then i looked away and stared blankly off into space. after a few minutes, i saw her head to the door out of the corner of my eye. the second she dissappeared from my periferal vision, i heard her say 'hey!' and come up behind me. she said she had a question for me, and then stood next to me and whipped out the schedule she had made for next week. jane knows when i can work, so it's not really written down anywhere. terrie had to guess, and she wanted to make sure she had guessed right. she hadn't. she had me working during one class. she also had me for another day that i usually can work, but my teacher switched my class too late for me to write it down. but i figured as long as i had her changing the schedule around, i would ask her about that day too. so we both looked at it, and i solved the thursday problem (switch me and eliza). she was trying to fix the monday, but she couldn't find anybody to close down self-check. alyssa was opening it. i suggested liz. she said 'liz quit.' and i look at liz's schedule and she's off all next week. i exclaim, 'already!?' terrie says 'yeah,' and maybe i'm imagining it, but i think she sounded sad... now rashid has to talk to liz for sure this friday... i told terrie to just have rex do it, and in the end, that's what she did. but she stood by me for like a half hour, rearranging and then checking it over and everything and i liked that.

later jim came in, and he almost was going to get out of working his last 2 days here, but ann made it so he still had to, and i was glad.

while i was watching self-check, some customer and tisha got in a fight about whose turn it was. (it was actually his, but it was an honest mistake on her part) so he shoved her out of the way while she was trying to use it so she shoved him back and they wound up spilling pop all over each other and he shoved her into the counter and she slapped him across the face. i watched in horror. i didn't know how to stop them. then, the guy turns to the machine, and presses the 'help' button. (this is the button that you press if something rings up wrong. then i press a few buttons from my station, and fix it. or if something won't scan, i press a few buttons up here and fix it.) i thought it was pretty amusing that he pressed the help button in this situation, like i can just press a few buttons at my station and erase the physical confrontation that just happened... it's especially funny when i look down at my screen, and see that window flashing, and then i look up and i see these two, fuming and covered in pop... they didn't teach me how to help customers with this when they trained me on the self-check... i guess i'm a little too amused, and a smile plays at my lips. the guy sees it, and he gets even more mad (if that was possible...). he asks me to page the manager. i've already called brian twice today, when people insisted on seeing the manager, and it turned out to be dumb stuff that the service desk could easily have handled. i think brian is sick of hearing from me... but this is probably a situation that would need a manager... i guess i take too long thinking this over, though, because the guy screams at me 'look, can you pick up the fucking phone? pick it up and call your fucking manager.' now i'm scared. so i smile. it's a nervous scared smile, but all smiles are the same to this guy, and he's not happy... i get in more trouble for smiling than for anything else... anyway, i call brian, and it takes him a while to get down here because he's on the phone (and probably because he thinks it's another unimportant situation), so while we're waiting, the guy calls the police because he's going to file assult charges against tisha. only he doesn't really get too far, because brian comes just in time, so the guy hangs up on the policeman to start screaming at brian and tisha jumps in and starts screaming her story and i feel really bad for brian because it kind of reminds me of dealing with a couple of 5-year olds tattling on each other, and they can't get their story straight. he gets the guy's name and contact information and says they'll do something or another, and when the guy leaves, charlie (a guy who was stocking nearby and came running when he heard the first sign of a fight) volunteers that he witnessed 'the whole thing,' and he sticks up for tisha and makes it sound like it wasn't her fault at all. he missed the whole beginning so he really has no idea. i don't volunteer myself as a witness, though, because i don't want to get tisha in any more trouble than she's already in, and for some reason, brian seems to forget that i watched the whole thing, and he doesn't even ask me about it. but i tell the entire story to the whole rest of the store, one person at a time, because they all want to know what happened to tisha on self-check, and they all realize that besides tisha, i would be the one to ask... (believe it or not, this is the shortened version. they all got the long version, because it's what they wanted. who started it? how? well what'd he do then? wait, but what did she do before that? so i'm sick of the long version.)

when marie came in for the day, she said cheerfully, 'hi loser,' and she came over and stood right next to me. i said good morning and she was still standing there and i didn't really want her to leave, but in a half-second, sam came by and said something to her, so she asked sam, 'wait, what?' and then followed sam away. when she walked by me again, she let her hair out of her ponytail and tilted her head back so it all swished as she walked by. it didn't look sexy. but it looked like she was trying to look sexy, and i wondered if she was.

when terrie came in, she said nothing to me, and she didn't for the whole half hour that we were both there. i'm ok though. she stood by me for a half hour this morning :-)

i think i've decided that it's good that terrie comes from work, and that marie comes from work, and that christine came from work, and all that. i think it's good that i have friends, and i have family, and then all the messy crush-type-stuff, and coming-out-of-the-closet stuff happens at work. if it happened with my friends, that could mess stuff up. that would suck. and if it happened with my family, well, it could get incestuous, which would probably be worse... so i think sometimes it seems strange that i'm so concerned with a silly minimum-wage job, but the reason for that isn't the job itself. it's just the people there, and how things wound up with them. and it might be a tad weird, but i've decided that it's also good.

i got home and i still had about an hour before i had to leave for my midterm. i thought i should study. but i went to my computer, and my mom had left me a message on aim. it said 'you there?' i know my mom. if she has a message for me, she'll just leave it. if she wants to rant forever about something, she'll ask 'you there?' i knew if i answered her, i would never get to study for my midterm. so i answered her, because i hate studying. today, she was upset about a number of things. first, she had diarrhea and had been running to the bathroom all day. she went into detail. (tmi...) second, they had changed around the bathroom situation at work, so she had to hike a mile to get to the nearest women's restroom. (these two problems were closely related...) the third one was different though. she was furious at my brother because he had gotten in trouble at school. i get the story out of her, and she makes it sound like jacob is a horrible child, but here is what the poor kid did: he got bored in class. (classes are an hour and a half. he was in history, and he had the most boring teacher in the history of the school.) so he asked to go to the bathroom, and then he took the extra-long way to the bathroom, and then he wandered around a bit, and then he started to take the extra-long way back. (i used to do this at least once a day, in different classes. about 3 times a week, i would do this in history with this exact same teacher.) on the way back, he passed one of his basketball teammates getting yelled at in the hallway by a teacher. he was curious, so he slowed down. then he went around the corner and stoppped and listened, because he wanted to know what was going on. the teacher spotted him in the window, so he pretended like he was just reading a sign on the wall, and then he kept walking. but curiosity got the best of him, so he made a quick lap around, and hid back around the other corner, to keep listening. the teacher caught him again, stopped yelling at the kid, and started yelling at jake instead. he made jake wait while he sent the kid back inside, and then he figured out which class jake was not at, and hand-delievered jake back to his classroom. by the time they got back there, jake had been gone for 25 minutes. so the two teachers have a discussion about what to do with jake. (both teachers know my mom. jake's teacher had me in class, and she was in frequent contact with my mom. i complained about her all the time, but she actually liked me, and as far as teacher go, she wasn't bad. she told my mom that i was a good kid and i had potential, but i needed to learn a little self-control. or something like that. and she was one of the few teachers who would let me stand up whenever i got tired of sitting, and she would let me wiggle around as long as it wasn't too distracting. and my sister had the guy. he always talked to my mom to tell them how great my sister was, and to inform them that she had been nominated for some award or another...) anyway, together, the two of them decided against taking jake to the principal's office, and decided instead to call my mom, because she would give him a better punishment. so now poor jake is grounded. he's grounded from his friends. he's grounded from the computer. he's even grounded from music. they took away his cd player and his radio. he has one of those music boxes attatched to a nightlight, that plays brahm's lullabye. when they took away his other music, he played it over and over (more to be a smart ass than anything else, probably), so they took it away too. he isn't ungrounded until report cards come out and he has straight a's (that's a really long time to wait), or until one of his teachers calls my parents and tells them that jacob has a good attitude, or that jacob is a hard worker, or that jacob is a joy to have in class, or something good like that. that's hopeless. the poor kid is grounded until report cards for doing practically nothing. i would have done the exact same thing if i were him (except i'd like to think i wouldn't get caught...) i feel bad for my brother. he is turning out just like me. for his sake, i hope he's not gay too.

she finished her rant just in time for me to grab a snack, grab my cd player, and head to class to take a midterm. i listened to maxwell on the way over, hoping that feeling mellow would substitute for being prepared.

i don't know how i did. i guessed a lot, but i felt sort of confident in my guesses... so i just have to wait and see.

when i got back, katie called, and her mom had sent me down a valentine's gift (because katie's mom rules), so i went over to pick it up, and we talked a while. some 30-year old guy wants to date her, and he's not deterred by the fact that she has a boyfriend. i told her that my 30-year old (jim) is leaving me in 2 days. i was over there about an hour, and then i headed home.

on my way home, i passed lauren. she was standing on a street corner, talking to some girl from one of her classes. they (she tells me later) met her class, and since they live close to each other, they walk home together, and they're scheduling a class together next quarter. that's how lauren is. lauren drives us crazy. when you're around her too much, she just talks too much. you can't dislike her because she's not trying to be bothersome. (hey sfb, are you still there? you don't happen to have a nice short pc word for a person who talks way too much, and gets annoying, but they're really a good person, do you?) anyway, she's just friendly, but she gets annoying. but if you're not around her as much as we are, i think she's just friendly. you don't notice that she talks too much because you don't have to listen to her 24/7. you just think she's nice. and friendly. and intelligent, because she always sounds like she knows what she's talking about (even when she doesn't). that's why lauren has a million friends. she has a different group of people to hang out with every night. none of them are around her more than once a week, so they don't get sick of her, ever. it would be good to be lauren. i need to be more like lauren. if i could make friends as easily as lauren could, this would be easy. i would just come out. i would just go to the gay meeting on campus, and i'd come out of it with a new batch of friends. if i lost a couple friends, it wouldn't really matter... i would have a million more... i can't be like her, though. i don't make friends. they make me. i just go around, and be me, and be sometimes smart, and sometimes stupid, and a lot of the time 7, and talk to people if they talk to me, or sometimes even if they don't, but i don't know how to do any more than that. if they don't decide to be friends with me, i don't know how to be friends with them. i think you're born like that though, or if you're not, you become like that way before now. i don't think i could be like lauren at this point in my life, no matter how hard i tried...

tomorrow i schedule classes for next quarter. i'm scheduling 3 (like christine said to). i'm still claiming, 'i'm scheduling 3, just in case i want to take them, but i still might drop them all, or drop a few and just take one.' but i'm pretty sure that i'm only saying this because i hope christine will show up before it's time to start classes, and i can say that she's the one who helped me make the final decision. if she doesn't show up by then, i'm about 99% sure that i'll take those 3 classes anyway. but i'd really like to credit it to her... i'd really like to see her...

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*Poltergeist voice* I'm he-e-re....

(Anonymous)
(hey sfb, are you still there? you don't happen to have a nice short pc word for a person who talks way too much, and gets annoying, but they're really a good person, do you?)

Of course I'm here! (Did you not see the reply I left to one of your posts - the 7th I think it was - a few days back?) I tend to have to dip in and out of reading your journal depending on how much work I have to do for Uni, but I usually catch up at some point during the week :)

As for the word you want, the only ones I can think of are kinda negative - gobby or mouthy. They indicate someone who talks a lot and shows off. You could always call her a chatterbox, I suppose, if that's not too simple a suggestion. Anyway, lemme know if they're not good enough for you and I'll have a rummage around and see if I can come up with anything better.

Bye for now,
The Small Faced Boy

i'm going to go with chatterbox. the other ones do have a bit of a negative connotation, but chatterbox just makes me think of jack-in-the-box, which makes me thinks of toys, which are good. toys are good, therefore chatterbox is good, and i can call lauren a chatterbox without feeling guilty. now that i've settled that, i'm really going to bed...

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