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stupidfool
so nothing. i'm miserable. i'm supposed to be in class right now, but i went to the lab to print out the notes. and i'm already late. and i don't care. i went there again. i waited in line forever at the service desk, and it ended up being art who got free. so i was going to wait on marie, but then amit saw me and came up and started talking to me... so there was no way to get to marie without amit hearing, besides escaping and trying again. i was so unhappy that amit thought i was mad at him. marie asked if i was ok. i said yeah. i went to the break room and came back up front, and marie was on the phone with the self-check people, trying to fix the broken one. i wandered around for about 10 minutes, hoping she would get off the phone, but she was messing around with all these system settings, and it didn't look like it would be fast... and i had to go to class... and i didn't want to look like i was waiting on her... so i left.

she's there late. i could go back again after class... but they would think i was crazy, going 3 times in a day... and i don't really know what good it's going to do me anyway. the only thing marie could say to help the situation is 'oh yeah, well christine's voicemail says her name is jim; it's just a joke.' then maybe i would call back and leave a message. but even if she gives me christine's phone number, if it's not the one i have, i can't call... so i guess i can just wait til i work with her next. that's friday. and then i could always call christine monday, with the same plan, if marie tells me that christine's alter ego is named jim... and otherwise... i don't know. i don't.

but i know why this seems so bad to me. because not only do i not get to have this conversation with christine, but i don't get to have any conversation with christine... ever. and i don't have a back-up plan any more. that was always my back-up plan. think of anything negative, and the positive side was always that i had her phone number. i won't ever get to talk to christine again-but i have her phone number... what if i come out and my parents hate me-i could always call christine. something goes wrong with molly-call christine. terrie finds out-call christine. even if i never really planned on doing it, it was comforting just to think that i could... and now i can't. i don't have her phone number, or i don't think i do... i won't ever see her again, if she doesn't happen to stop by again, and there's absolutely nothing i can do about it...

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Phone numbers

(Anonymous)
Sounds to me like she gave you the right number, but it's taken you so long to call that her number's changed or she's got rid of her mobile. In which case your best bet is to ask Marie/Terrie if they have her number. Any chance you could get it from a phone directory?

Anyway, cheer up - you've taken the first step. Even if it doesn't seem apparent, everything else will follow :)

SFB

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