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stupidfool
i had two classes today. the first one, alana's trying to get into, so she went with me. it was boring. the second one, molly is in with me. the lecture had just started, and this girl came in the door... i heard the noise and turned around to look. she had this short spiky blonde hair and a nice tan and a pretty face and i stared and wondered if she was a lesbian or if she just happened to have lesbian-like hair... then i realized i was staring, and turned to face back up front. in a few seconds, i hadn't heard her move, so i turned back around to glance again. she was looking for a seat and she saw me staring at her. i turned away. she sat two rows in front of me, and she had a nice back. this class must have been really boring, because staring at this girl's back was more entertaining than paying attention.

then i went to work. jane had scheduled me to work earlier, but i had classes, so yesterday, i called and told them i couldn't get there til 5. i ended up catching a bus the second i got to the bus stop, so i got there at about quarter til. i was in the break room putting away my stuff, preparing to go make myself a name tag (i forgot mine, again), and terrie called me up front. i went up there and she told me to clock in now. i told her i thought 5. she said now. i hesitated, then asked quietly, 'can i make a name tag first?'
i thought she was going to explode. (i really don't forget it that much. but every time i do, she's the one who's working.) she snapped, 'this is getting ridiculous.'
i stared at my hands and shuffled my feet and said, 'i know.' i felt awful.
prudy was there, and said 'awww... you're making her feel bad.'
terrie didn't care that she made me feel bad, but she cares that prudy cares that i feel bad, so she tells me, 'i'm sorry. yes, you can make one. just remember it next time, ok?'

marie is on spring break this week, so she works all the time. taysha too. and terrie. it was quite a day. when all 3 of them are there, it's practically too much for me. everywhere i turn, there is a fine body part to greet me.
marie isn't attractive. i don't think she is at all attractive (and i don't think anybody else thinks she is either). but i am crazy attracted to her. taysha, on the other hand, is crazy attractive, but i'm not all that attracted to her. if she came over and demanded that i fuck her, don't think i wouldn't. but when i look at taysha, i think damn, that's a fine ass. when i look at marie, i think mmmmmm i need to feel that body against mine... i want her naked, on top of me, moaning my name, grinding her hips into me while i grab her ass... awww fuck, i want her sooooo bad. ummm... back on topic... terrie is somewhere in between. she's pretty attractive, and i'm fairly attracted to her... but not like marie...

when marie went on break, she called rex to go with her. (he's in ff now) she was flirting with him like crazy and i HATE it.

near the end of the night, i went up to get change from marie. she got the rolls of coins, and started to put them in the top of the dispenser i was holding, like she does every time.
(the change dispensers for the self-check are just holders for a bunch of stacks of coins. when they're put in the machine, it has tiny little rods that make the coins come out from the bottom of the dispenser, but a human hand can only load and unload the dispensers from the top. when i re-fill the dispensers, since they're not in the machines, i have to give out the change, by sliding the coins out the top. when i go to get more coins, most people put the rolls in my hand. the problem with putting them in the dispenser is that the rolls go on top of the loose coins, and invaribly, when i get back from getting the coins, somebody is waiting for change, and they need something like $0.41, ao i have to remove at least 4 rolls of coins from 4 different columns of the dispenser to get them their change, and they're impatient to begin with. it's not that big of a deal. but this is marie...)
so i stop her, and tell her to put them in my hands, knowing that she's going to fight with me, like always. she tries to put them in, and i put my thumbs in the tops of the columns so she can't get to them. i manage to snatch the rolls of quarters from her right hand, but now she's got a hand free, and it's a fair fight. i snatch her wrist, and try to get the coins, but she pulls it back. i don't let go, so now i'm leaning over the low door, stretching to hang on to her wrist. for some reason, she leans over me, so her breasts are pressing into my back. i still don't let go. she growls, and loudly bites the air above my back, like she's threatening me. i still don't let go, so she leans over and sinks her teeth into my shoulder. the bite's not that hard, but it's startling, so i yelp and let go and jump back. i complain (to absolutely nobody), 'she BIT me!' she just laughed, and then put the rolls of coins into the tops of the dispenser. i let her.
she BIT me. what is that supposed to mean?!? if i had a paid account, i would make a poll out of this, but i don't... so, a multiple choice question for anybody who reads this:

there are two girls, a and b. a bites b because:
a) a is crazy and thinks she is a wolf.
b) a wants b.
c) a wants b to want a.
d) a hates b.
e) a likes to demonstrate that she has power over b, and that she wins.
f) a enjoys the taste of a cotton shirt.
g) other

jane was in an awful mood. talking to her made me feel like i had done something wrong, even though (as far as i know) i hadn't.

i needed another roll of pennies later, so i went up there. jane was in the office, and ignored me when i called for money. i don't know what was wrong, but she wasn't very happy, and she wasn't very with it, either... marie saw me and ignored me because she was doing something with the lottery machine. for about 5 minutes, i ran between self-check (helping customers) and the service desk (waiting for one of them to get me change). finally, marie came over and asked me in mock-surprise, 'gee loser, how long have you been waiting?'
i told her, 'about 82 and a half million years, thank you.'
she laughed and went to get the pennies. she came back and said, 'you're a crackhead.'
i acted insulted and said i wasn't.
she said 'awwwww, i'm sorry,' and reached out her hand and touched my face. she ran her fingertips slowly down my cheek, and said with a smile, 'you're not. you're just a thug,' and as she finished the sentence, her fingers reached the side of my jaw. she lightly traced a path out to my chin, and then with the same slow motion, she pulled her hand back to her side, turned, and went into the office without looking back. i just stood in the doorway, wanting her so badly i could hardly breathe, much less move. why do her fingers have to be so soft and gentle and warm? why does she touch my face?

i finally went back to self-check, and marie stayed in the office the rest of the night. i came home and molly and i hardboiled some eggs, to decorate later. i have to go to bed soon... i hate going to bed. during the day, there are distractions... marie, terrie, taysha, rashid, justin, molly, alana, lauren, my ps2 and my legos and my other toys... at night, though, it all goes back to christine. everything else goes away and i just miss her.

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