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stupidfool
went to classes. there were no obvious lesbians, except for the teacher... until she mentioned her boyfriend. there goes that daydream...
the one good thing that came out of it was that our first assignment is to survey 10 people. it's a basic survey, covering typical women's studies topics... it only takes about 2 minutes to fill out. one of the questions on it (it's one of those things where you circle the number corresponding to the level that you agree, where 1=strongly agree and 4=strongly disagree) is
Discrimination against gays and lesbians should be illegal.
my class is giving me an excuse to get my friends views on homosexuality! sweet...
i gave one to molly and one to aaron, but they haven't returned them yet. so far, i've gotten them back from lauren, alana, and her boyfriend. all 3 of them strongly agree. alana's boyfriend even talked to me about it, to 'clarify.' he asked what kind of discrimination i meant -- like name-calling, or like not giving somebody a job because of their sexual orientation. i told him i didn't write the survey. but he kept asking, so i took a deep breath and had a conversation with him. i said probably not name-calling, because they can't stop you from calling somebody 'stupid,' or anything like that, so how could they stop you from calling somebody 'gay,' in a derrogatory fashion? it was probably talking about things more like hate crimes, like the things the kkk would do to blacks. he said he agreed that should be illegal. and then while we were talking, i forged ahead and mentioned the adoption thing, that rosie's supporting. he didn't know about it, so i told him the whole story about the two gay guys in florida, and the little boy that they've raised forever, but aren't allowed to adopt, and how the state is trying to take the boy away. he said that was definitely wrong. he said there are way too many fucked-up straight parents out there, and that if gays can do a good job, they should be allowed. he said the only bad thing would be that the kids might get teased about it. all things considered, if there was a perfect gay couple and a perfect straight couple, he would give the kid to the straight couple, just so the kid wouldn't get teased as much. but he says since nobody's perfect, gays should certainly be allowed to adopt. ok, so he's not 100% there... for perfect equality, we would flip a coin. but in a perfect world, the kids wouldn't get teased for having gay parents. he's just being realistic. no matter what, i still consider that to be a very positive reaction... so i get a little paranoid, and wonder if maybe he knows too...

went to work. jim was at self-check, talking to terrie when i got there. he was waiting for me, to give me back my umbrella. terrie said, 'he was just telling me how you left your diaphragm at his house.'
i stared at her blankly, and then at jim. he offered, 'that's her idea of a joke.'
i didn't get it, at all. finally i asked, 'isn't that inside of you?'
terrie replied, 'well, once you put it there, it is, sort of.'
i was still lost. jim said, 'this one's going to need some further explanation. but not from me,' and then he changed the subject.
so when i got home, i looked up diaphragm. www.m-w.com i was thinking of definition number 1 (a body partition of muscle and connective tissue; specifically : the partition separating the chest and abdominal cavities in mammals). she was referring to definition number 6 (a molded cap usually of thin rubber fitted over the uterine cervix to act as a mechanical contraceptive barrier), of which i had been completely unaware. i feel really dumb, and pretty embarrassed too. they probably think i'm stupid or completely innocent or something dumb like that. is that really such a common term? how did i not learn that?

after jim left, prudy told me that jim had been looking for me. so did marie. so did anthony. he even got my phone number from the store computer, and called my house, i guess, but i had already left.

prudy and terrie drive me crazy. they are fucking attatched to each other. terrie jokes around and smiles and is friendly to me when prudy is by me. the second prudy goes home, terrie's upset and grumpy. it bothers me a bit that good ol' straight prudy is attatched to a lesbian because she knows the lesbian wants her, but terrie bothers me a whole lot more.

marie flirts with the policeman, and tells him, batting her eyelashes and trying to look sexy, 'you know, i wanted to be a police officer once.'
i called over sarcastically, 'you should have been. you could capture criminals and stuff dog food in their mouths.'
she turned away from the policeman and turned that flirty smile to me. she came over to me and answered, while sliding her arm around my shoulder, 'i think that works better on you...'
we discussed that for a moment, while her arm stayed around me. then she let go, and left.
she's crazy. she flirts with anything that breathes, honest to god. how come i want her so bad?

later, they somehow talk marie into staying all night long, until 6 in the morning. i tell her that's a great shift, and she asks how she's supposed to stay awake. i tell her it's not a big deal to me, and you can bet i'll be up that whole time. then i joke, 'i'll come visit you, at like 2 or 3 in the morning.'
she asks, 'really?'
i wasn't serious before, but all of a sudden, that seems like a good idea to me. i say, 'yeah.'
she askes, 'promise?'
i have to go back to self-check, but as i'm walking away, i say 'yeah.' i don't know if she heard.

josephine remembers that i loaned her the money. i know this because she thanked me, about 10 more times. she said nothing about when she plans to pay it back. i guess as long as she remembers, it'll come eventually.
she also complained about marie, and josephine is not the type to complain. she talked about how marie thinks she can boss her around, and thinks she's in charge of her. i told her it wasn't just her that marie bossed around... marie is bossy, and she has a tendency to act like she's in charge of the world. it's just one of the hundred and ten (or so) reasons why i wouldn't like her, if i were thinking straight. unfortunately, i'm a little too gay for that...

when i got home, molly, aaron, and i dyed some easter eggs. i dyed my fingers too, because we only had two wire things and i was too lazy to wash another spoon (the dishwasher broke).

so i'm thinking about marie right now. i could take molly's car (she said she didn't care) and go visit marie in about 15 minutes. or i could stay here... i need rubber gloves, to wash the dishes. i could walk across the street and get some, or i could drive all the way to my grocery store and get them. do you suppose she's going to have friends come in to visit her? it's their spring break... theoretically, they could be awake and have nothing better to do at 2 a.m. or she could be flirting like crazy with the night crew. christine stayed one night, and (according to molly) she spent the entire night talking to tyrone. i don't think tyrone likes marie very much at all (he liked christine), but i don't really expect that to stop marie. when it comes to flirting, she's a machine with no off-switch. i don't like that. and i don't like that she's bossy. i don't want to date her. i don't want to be seen with her in public. i'd just like to get my hands on her body, which (don't tell me that this isn't logical; i already know that) is why i think i'm going to go get molly's car... this can't be healthy...

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