Previous Entry Share Next Entry
(no subject)
stupidfool
terrie was supposed to work with me for 4 hours today, but art said she left because 'she had some stuff to take care of.' i checked the time clock (i know her numbers because her hands were full once, and she told them to me so i could punch her out for break) and she had punched out for lunch, like she planned to come back, only she didn't. i worry. i worry that the stuff she had to take care of involved christine. what if she's in a real fight with christine? or what if terrie's girlfriend has some problem? or what if somebody died, or she owes money, or she's in trouble somehow? i don't really care about terrie. this is different from how i don't like marie, because i think terrie is damn hot and i also think she's funny and nice to people she likes. she doesn't like me and i don't care. but for not caring, i sure am worrying a lot.

i miss christine. thinking of terrie being in trouble makes me think of christine being in trouble, and i wish she was never in trouble. i wish she was still here. i wish i would stop missing her...

it was a touch-torture day, with marie. she started it by shoving a gum wrapper into my pocket, so i took it out and tried to give it back to her, and we wrestled with the gum wrapper for a while. when she came to run my break on self-check, she poked me in my sides. then we wrestled for the pen for a good long while. later, she wanted to show how cold her hands were, so she grabbed my neck. my hands were conveniently just as cold, so i grabbed her neck back, and we grabbed necks for a while. this, all this, was nice, i think. replaying little flashes of it, like her breasts pressed into my back and her arm on mine, or my arms wrapped around her waist, or our arms brushing while we waited in the doorway, resting after our gum wrapper fight, i like it. and i hate it, because it's not good enough. what is good enough? she ignores me and i hate it. she talks to me and i hate it. she touches me and i hate it. i only ever see her in a grocery store; what more could i want? is anything ever good enough?

lauren went to see red wanting blue. she got back after i got home and told me ALL about it...

i'm tired... i'm always tired by the time i get around to writing in here... i gotta sleep...

?

Log in

No account? Create an account