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stupidfool
i'm dead. i woke up and went to udf for a 4-hour shift. peter went to the bank to get some change, and this hot girl came in to see him... she had cornrows... the other lady (she smells) told her peter would be back soon, so the girl waited. it turns out that she got a job here, and they wanted her to fill out all the paperwork that comes when you get hired. i took a little break back there with her and peter. i bought some chicken ramen noodles and ate them raw. there's no way to cook them there, i like them better raw, and they're pretty much the cheapest thing in the store that will fill you up. i listened to her talk to him. she's 21. i don't know her name. he told her about the training, and how she would make a lot of ice cream, and she could eat it if she wanted. i piped up, 'but don't try to eat it all.' she said she would never do that. i shrugged and said, 'i did.'
she pointed out, 'yeah, but you're also eating raw noodles,' and peter turned around and marveled at the fact that i was, indeed, eating raw noodles.
i think she might be working the night shift, though, so i would only even see her like once a week. i don't care.

i got off work there, came home, got changed, and went to my grocery store for a 7-hour shift. today was taysha's last day. she took out her extensions and her braids and got her hair relaxed and curled. she still looked like taysha so she still looked good, but i liked the braids better.

i convinced alyssa to run self-check because i'm sick of it. i asked terrie if we could switch and she said no. then she asked alyssa if she really wanted to, or if i had talked her into it. alyssa said she didn't care, and it was entirely up to me. then terrie said we could switch. every time rashid came over to talk to me, terrie sent him back to his register. every time i bagged for rashid, terrie tried to get me a customer. is she still paranoid that we talk about her, or does she just hate me so bad that she doesn't like to see me talk to people i like?

rashid told me that dylan and corey still seem to think i'm 'bad.' i almost care.

ann asked me if jane had talked to me about working in the office. i told her yeah, a long time ago. she said jane just mentioned it to her less than a week ago, so she's pretty sure i'll be getting in there soon, but she'll check with jane for me. i'm moving to the office...? i don't know how i feel about that. i want marie. and how i feel about the office depends only on how much better/worse that's going to be for my marie situation. only it a little bit depends on feeling like i'm going somewhere. christine said that, when we were talking about school, that you should always feel like you're going somewhere. moving to the office is going somewhere, and i like that. and i like christine. and i want marie. and i'm tired...

taysha ran alyssa's break on self-check, so i wandered over there and talked to her for almost alyssa's entire break. it was very un-me-like, because rashid had to bag for himself, and so did malik. there were lots of things i could have been doing, but i was a bad worker, just so i could talk to taysha. it was good, though, because she said she's going to miss me. and i said i'm going to miss her. and she was talking about how amit almost made her cry, when he left and said bye and gave her a hug and all that. she said that when he said bye at first, she just answered a sorta sarcastic, sorta mean bye, just like she always talks to everybody, and he was upset. all that was reassuring... she's that sort of mean way to everybody, and she's going to miss me and she likes me. she called me dumb-dumb, all night long, to make up for all the days she won't be able to call me that. i still protested and told her that wasn't my name. while i was over at self-check with her, laughing and talking, a customer came to my register and i didn't notice. dylan happened to notice, and called me over, looking at me funny... and i don't so much care. let him think what he wants to think. i don't care.

i was the most tired about halfway through my shift, and rashid got all protective of me... he kept asking if i was ok, and giving me hugs, and putting his arm around my shoulder... he never touches me. i don't care. whatever.

marie was there and was evil towards me. i hope she was evil to the rest of the world too... that, i care about. i want her. i want her to want me.

matt asked me to stay an extra hour and face stuff, so i did. while i was facing, this customer walked by me 3 or 4 times, about 5 minutes apart. the last time, i was facing the flour, and he just started talking to me... not about groceries... he started like, 'so i've seen you in here a lot before...'
i shrugged and told him i was always here.
he asked what i did to deserve working on a saturday night. i told him they gave me friday night off. and he just kept talking. he introduced himself-jeremiah. and when i told him my name, he shook my hand like a real introduction. and then he asked me about what i do for fun. i probably would have done better to just tell him about all my fun toys and scare him off, but instead i stuck to the i-don't-have-time-for-fun tactic. he asked where my other job was, and what my major was, and all these questions, and he was telling me about how he used to go to osu, and he where he lived when he went there... when i accidentally dropped a box of pudding, he picked it up for me... he complimented me on the way i used the milk crates as stilts to get at the high shelf with out stepping down and moving the crates, and again on the way i flipped it on the side and used it as a chair... and he watched me face for like 15 minutes. the he said 'well, i'll let you get back to your jello.'
i said, 'ok, see ya,' and continued facing the jello and he left.
i think this is maybe a little more than just a friendly guy. i ran the story by lauren and she laughed and said i found myself another jim, which means she agrees with me. i like jim just fine, and i'm glad i got to know him, but that time period when he wanted to date me and i had to figure out how to tell him no, that was a pain in the ass. this guy seems nice enough, but i don't want to deal with it, even if i could wind up getting another friendly male friend out of it...

i came home and molly is at aaron's, but she was talking to me on instant messanger... is that weird? this time, we only talked for about 15 minutes. but a few nights ago, she was over there and we talked for over an hour. is it normal to go over to your boyfriend's house, and then spend the entire evening talking to your roommate on his computer?
lauren is here and she is feeling pensive, listening to garth brooks slow songs, loudly, and writing poetry. i think tomorrow we're going to the store to get my shoes before i have to work. and i think 12 hours on your feet in a day is a little much. i'm going to bed.

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