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i've done the most un-me-like thing. i've finished typing the tapes. i went to bed after i typed in here last night, but since i had slept in, i wasn't tired. i just tossed and turned and thought about marie, and missed christine, and finally i decided that if i wasn't sleeping, i should get up and type the tapes. so i did, for nearly 4 hours. i slept a little more than 3 hours, got up and went to class. then i came back and typed the tapes for 2 more hours, and now they're done! i have the tapes all typed up, and it's not thursday night. if i skip out of class later today, i might start the essay. maybe i really will get to hang out with jim on thursday...

anyway, the reason i'm here is because in typing up the tapes, i wound up typing out nearly a page of my mom's opinions on homosexuality, and i figure that might be something i'll want to read later, so i'm going to make it a memory in here.

I think that people look down on gays a lot. Like, Oh, they’re gay, or Ewww, he’s gay. I have a student in my class right now, and I’m 90% sure he’s gay. He’s got a lot of the mannerisms of somebody who’s gay. I know that’s stereotypical, but he is… Mrs. Force and I have talked about it, and we both think he’s gay. He has the hand motions, and the voice… just like Christopher. I always knew Christopher was gay. I mean, that doesn’t mean I don’t like Christopher. But I felt bad for Christopher, and I feel bad for this boy in my class. Mrs. Force and I have talked about it, and he is such a nice boy, just like Christopher was such a nice boy.
We’re worried, though, because once the kids start getting old enough to suspect… Like Christopher probably didn’t have problems until he got to 7th or 8th grade. He had them then because the kids were old enough to know, and since he had just moved here, he didn’t even have the advantage of the kids getting to know him beforehand. At least with William, the kids are getting to know him beforehand, and they know what a nice guy he is, and how he helps the other kids, and how he has a good sense of humor, and how he’s smart. (Christopher didn’t even have the intelligence going for him.) So they all know William, and Mrs. Force and I are hoping that the people who know William now and are friends with him now can help make it easier when he gets to high school, but we know that’s going to be tough for him.
Basically, all you can say for someone who’s homosexual is hide it. You know, they talk about coming out of the closet… but I don’t know that Christopher wouldn’t have been better off keeping it in the closet; it’s just that he’s being dishonest to himself.
But it’s really hard because so many people look down on people who are gay. I’m not in favor of spreading AIDS or anything, but I’m not in favor of heterosexuals doing it either. I don’t think that it’s something that they choose. I don’t think Christopher would ever choose to be homosexual and have everybody make fun of him, but it was obvious from 7th grade! I mean, you weren’t into boys in 7th grade, and Christopher was like that in 7th grade. Do you think he chose to be gay? It’s not a choice that they make, and when they find out that they are, at that point, their only choice is to admit and have people double how much they make fun of them, or to keep hiding it. With a lot of people, like this guy Dad and I know, Roger… Roger’s gay, and he teaches in the city schools, so he has to keep it hidden. He’s a music teacher, but he doesn’t act like a stereotypical gay, and he doesn’t have the gay mannerisms, so that helps him. He’s not real thin, and he just doesn’t have the mannerisms, but you know he’s gay, like Marcus doesn’t have the mannerisms, but he is gay. He won’t openly admit it, but lots of people have seen him with his boyfriend and stuff… I mean, I know he is. Does that make him less good of a person? I mean, the good thing about--this is probably stereotypical too-—but the good thing about gays is that most of them are very compassionate. Most gay men are very very compassionate, which heterosexual men are not always. I think they’re less likely to be. Like Marcus, and William and Christopher are all very compassionate. So a lot of the times, they get made fun of as kids for their compassion, and that’s a terrible thing. Wouldn’t it be nice if all people were that compassionate?