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stupidfool
i didn't quite make it to any classes today. my last class is really late too, and i was wide awake. i just didn't feel like it. i did nothing. i juggled some. and i sat around while one very small conversation replayed over and over in my mind. just when i'm about to start homework, i hear that voice asking quietly 'you ok?' and my mind is off and running. i can't stop thinking... the shortest conversation ever, both of us using the absolute minimum amount of words needed to get our points across, but it means so much... it means christine might not hate me... it means i could be wrong about everything... it means when terrie hears what i asked jim, she's going to think i'm insane. no matter what, terrie will wind up thinking bad things about me. either she already does, or she will after she talks to jim. and i hope christine's ok.

anyway, alana found out that i havent been to a class since thursday, and she said i haven't been myself lately. no shit. who is myself anyway? like she even knows... she decided that i should have some pizza to cheer me up so me, molly, alana, and joy (alana's roommate) ordered pizza and hung out in alana's room for a while, which was a fairly good distraction. not good enough though.

i have a big program due thursday and i needed to start it, especially since i haven't been to that class in just over 2 weeks. i was trying to work on it from my computer, but i kept getting distracted, so around 8, i went to the computer lab. i stayed until they closed at midnight, and i'm almost done. well, not almost. maybe about halfway. i bet it would have gone a lot quicker if i had been to class once or twice. why am i so dumb? i don't know when i'm going to finish the program. i could do it now, but i should sleep so i go to class tomorrow. and i work 8 hours tomorrow. i guess i'll do it tomorrow. last minute. whatever.
'you ok?'
'you ok?'
i want to stop thinking. take my brain away.

?

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