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stupidfool
so last night after i finally got home from work, i went to bed. i overslept (and i had homework due in my first class). i woke up, still feeling upset from last night (which shouldn't have been a big deal, i just made it one, because i'm stupid and i always do that, and i'll write about it later, if i feel like it). i left for class, and took out my headphones to listen to maxwell, in the hopes of calming down. as i pulled them out of my bookbag, one of the earpieces snapped off. what good are headphones if you can't put them on your head? i shoved them back in my backpack and then noticed a dead cat lying in the bushes, which freaked me out quite a bit. in class, he handed out solutions to the homework assignment. i missed every single problem. in my next class, i ran into a pencil sharpener and got a bloody nose. (actually, i just turned my head into it; i didn't just walk smack into it, but either way, it ended with blood gushing out of my nose.) this is the one class that i actually pay attention in, and i had to spend the first 10 minutes in the bathroom, holding toilet paper over my nose and waiting for it to stop. that's the worst part of a bloody nose. it's hardly painful, and i don't mind the blood, but i fucking hate waiting for it to stop. i want to go back to whatever i was doing before it started bleeding-sleeping, typing, working, whatever-and i have no patience for sitting in a bathroom, changing tissues until it stops. none. on the way back from class, i stopped at wendy's and got a plain jr bacon cheeseburger. then i stopped at udf to talk to susan, and i still have my job. she doesn't even care that i didn't come; she figured i had just forgotten. i don't fucking want that job! but how can i quit when every time i talk to her, she's telling me how great i am, or how glad she is that i work there, or how she wants to make me an assistant manager? and how can i get fired when she's ready to forgive me for anything i do? i was thinking winter quarter, i would have to quit, and i'd have an excuse, because my classes are all later-but now, i realize that if i tell her that, she'll let me come in late. i can't fucking get out of that job. i get home and my cheeseburger is not plain. i scrape off the mayonnaise and tomatoes and lettuce, but i can still taste it. i hate mayonnaise.

to look on the bright side, i've got nowhere to go but up, right? *knock on wood*