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i have got to be the dumbest person i have ever met.
stupidfool
i do dumb stuff. i am the dumbest person i have ever met. but before that, i went to work. it was fine. jim was friendly. rex talked to me a lot becuase he was one behind me. i'm going to miss him too. and ayrik decided that i have an accent, and spent the whole day making me say words like 'can' and 'ham' and 'pants' to anyone who passed, so they could hear my accent too. it was funny though becuase he would try to mimic me and he just sounded dumb.

so then i got home, and i wanted to get myself into a studying mood, so i figured i'd go outside and kick my soccer ball around for a little. so i did. i was juggling it off my feet, but i'm not very good at that, so i just started kicking it hard, really high, and then trying to get under it and kick it again before it landed. i guess i did this a little too close to the building, because it went on the roof. the roof is flat and i could see it bounce around up there, but it didn't come down. it was just the roof of the lobby. you have to go up a flight of stairs to get into the building, so the lobby is actually just under 2 floors above ground. i scout out the situation, and there's one tree that looks like the branch is close enough to the roof that i could get myself up there. of course, this is a college campus, and they make sure to child-proof it. there are no trees on campus whose branches are reachable. i guess they don't want to have to worry about drunk college kids climbing trees. but i had to get my ball back. so i went to my room, and snuck my chair back down and outside. i still wasn't tall enough to reach the first branch. so i left my chair sit there, went back upstairs, and brought down a crate that used to be holding my books. i put the crate on the chair, stood on the crate, and could just barely reach the branch. i managed to get myself up into the tree, and from there, it was easy to get to the branch by the roof. then i inched my way out the branch. i was sitting up there, and i could see my ball, sitting on the roof. i could also see that it would not be an easy task to get back into this tree if i got out. see, the branch ran parallel to the roof. so if i fell straight off the branch, i would fall all the way to the ground. the roof started about a foot or two over. as long as i jumped from the branch, and pushed myself off towards the roof, i would have no trouble making it. but i wouldn't be able to reach the branch from the roof; i would have to jump. jumping from a very small branch to a very large roof is one thing. it's almost impossible to miss. jumping from a very large roof to a very small branch is quite another thing. it's easy to miss, and if i did, i would fall 2 floors to the ground. but this is the type of stupidity i've become famous for, the kind that people sit around and laugh about, stupid loser, do you even believe she is that dumb... see, i realize all this, and then i proceed to jump onto the roof anyway. i walk on over, get my ball, throw it to the ground, and then go back over to the tree branch. sure enough, the situation isn't looking promising. trying to get back onto that tree branch is hopeless. i'd be better off just jumping straight to the ground. but that's a little far... i am now beginning to realize what a bad idea this was. i go around to all sides of the roof, and there is no way down. a few people notice me when i'm around front, and ask what i'm doing. i tell them i think i'm stuck. they look around from the bottom of the building, and they can't find a good way for me to get down either. a few more people pass while these people are talking to me. and somebody goes inside to get an ra. 3 ras end up coming, along with a bunch of other kids in the dorm, who thought this was interesting. the ras tell me that it costs some insane amount of money to get firemen out here with a ladder. they say i'd probably have to pay it. i decide i'm going to find a different way to get down. i'm not paying some man with a ladder to come take me off the roof. there's got to be a better way. this tall guy suggests that i hang off of the side of the roof. he says if he stands on my chair and crate, and i hang off the edge, he might be able to reach me and then he could just carry me down. there is a little rim on the edge of the roof that i can grip, but not very easily. i gradually lower myself down, walking down the wall with my feet to keep myself from falling too fast, becuase i don't have a good enough grip to catch myself. finally, i am hanging all the way. my hands ache even before he gets onto the crate. he can reach me, but right below my knees, and his arms are stretched all the way up. he says 'no, never mind.' unfortunately, it's a little too late for never mind. my arms are perfectly straight and i don't have the upper body strength or the grip to pull myself back onto the roof. he gets off the chair, and i am now hanging from the edge of the roof, still 15 or so feet above the ground, and i don't think my hands are going to be able to hang on for much longer. i tell them this. they are all getting a little panicked now, but i don't think their panic compares to mine. my arms are shaking. i am screaming 'i can't hold on any more!' but i'm still holding on becuase if i let go, i would scrape all the way down this wall and hit the concrete hard. everyone who passes comes over to see now. there's a crowd of about two dozen people and none of them know what to do. someone suggests that they all get under me, so when i let go, they'll catch me. this gets them thinking. they all gather around, and tell me i have to let go, and push off the wall, so that i fall flat onto all of them, which will give them more surface area to catch than if i fell straight down. you know that game where you have to trust the other people, and you stand, and fall straight back, and just trust the two of them to catch you? this was like that, only i had a lot more falling to do before i would get caught, and they had a lot less confidence in their ability to catch me. and i have never been able to play that game becuase i just can't trust anyone that much. but i have no choice this time. they are standing in this big bunch, with their hands up, and i count to three, and then push myself back off the wall, and fall. before i know what's happening, i'm hitting them. i'm not sure what happened from there. hands attempt to catch me everywhere. when i hit, the sea of hands sinks several feet, but they still broke my fall. it's kind of like crowd surfing for an instant, and then i lurch to the ground, but they lurch with me, so it's much more gradual than a straight fall. and then it's over, and me and 20 perfect strangers and 3 ras are in a pile on the ground, with me on top, and everyone is ok. i have a couple of scrapes from climbing the tree, my muscles ache, and my hands are cut up and bleeding from hanging onto the edge of the roof, but it's not bad at all.
then the crowd disbands, and i attempt to sneak back up to my room, but the ras stop me. i knew i wouldn't get off that easy... they have to file another incident report. this is something i have gotten good at. i think half the incident reports in this dorm are related to me. i got a million at the beginning of the year, before i had a job, becuase i had too much time on my hand, which meant i wandered around, doing things impulsively. i never mean to do bad things, but i always end up doing them anyway. like i broke the elevator once, just playing. and i broke a light. i didn't actually break it, i just knocked the cover off, so i climbed up the wall and was fixing it myself, but i got in trouble for that too, becuase you're not supposed to climb walls. they shouldn't make them so close together if they don't want people to try to climb them, i say. but then i got this job, and working 40 hours a week limits the amount of time you have to wander around the dorm, looking for something to amuse yourself, so i haven't had an incident report about me since before christmas. i think i was going to get in trouble for this one, but mike (one of the ras, who filed lot of my other incident reports) was looking through the records, and said 'wow, you've been so good for such a long time!' i saw that as my window of opportunity, and broke in with 'yeah, i'm sorry, i didn't even mean to do it, i shouldn't have jumped off the branch or climbed the tree or taken dorm furniture outside the dorm and i haven't done anything wrong in a long time and i promise i won't do anything else, come on, the year is almost over, i just need to study for finals without having to worry about disciplinary action, please don't get me in trouble.' they left me there and had a little conversation and they decided that they would file the report, but not do anything else to me. they said it would be a few weeks before anybody went through this batch of reports, and by then i would be gone. since i'm not living in the dorms again next year, as long as i don't do anything wrong for the last week, nothing will happen to me. so i promised 'oh i won't, i won't, thank you so much,' and left before they could change their minds.

then i came back up and showered to get the blood and dirt from the tree off of me. my arms and hands still ache. typing is a chore. i need to study for finals (i have 2 on monday, and both are going to be HARD), but i am anything but relaxed enough to do that. hmmm... last time i needed to relax to study, i went outside and played soccer... yeah, bad idea. maybe i'll just go to bed, and wake up early tomorrow and study. or i could just take a nap. i don't know. boy am i stupid. i hate when i do dumb stuff. i really do. who the fuck would jump onto a roof when they knew perfectly well that they wouldn't be able to get back down? why don't i fucking think before i do things? it's the same as with my classes. i wake up, think 'gee, i have a quiz today, and i've already gotten 2 zeros,' and then i go back to sleep anyway, knowing full well what i'm doing to myself. i'm a fucking idiot. what is wrong with me?

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LOL that is soooooo funny, aww I feel so bad for you, haha that sounds like something dumb I would do.., haha well I gotta get going ciao 4 now!

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