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people are so stupid. i hate customers. some guy went off on me becuase he thought i was going to charge him for the fucking bar you use to separate one order from the next. some lady thought her coupon should be doubled, even though it said right at the top in big letters 'THIS COUPON NOT SUBJECT TO DOUBLING.' another lady asked me if our new lottery machine was going to work. no lady, we're wasting our time, energy, space, and money to install a machine that's not going to work. and then to top it all off, the strawberries are buy one get one free this week, and the sign says 'strawberries, buy one get one free, WITH CARD.' meaning the wild card. this lady gives me her wild card, and is buying two things of strawberries and a hallmark greeting card, and she screams at me becuase i won't give her the fucking hallmark card free. she says 'but the sign says the card is free!' i explain to her 20 different ways, show her signs everywhere that have the same 'WITH CARD' on the bottom, and she still doesn't get it, and leaves the store thinking i just cheated her out of a free greeting card. and today was quite a day for customers who think they're clever. like something doesn't scan, and they say 'it must be free.' i get that at least once a day and i have to smile and pretend that i don't hear people say that every fucking day. only today about 20 of them do it. or something comes up to, say $19.71, and they say 'oh, that was a good year.' YOU'RE NOT THAT CLEVER! I HEAR THAT EVERY DAY! and people who try to be cute, like i ask paper or plastic, and they answer 'glass,' or 'cardboard,' or anything else that we don't have. hehe you're so funny get over it. ok i think i'm done complaining now. sorry. sometimes you just get fed up with stupid people.

i came in and christine asked if today was my last day. i told her tomorrow and she said that's what she thought. she thinks about me. yay.

i waited for a drawer forever, but jp and tasha ignored me, so i wandered off to inspect the new lottery machine, and christine calls me when i'm on the ground looking up into the machine like a moron. i am a moron. i give up. she's holding my drawer, and she just laughs and says 'you didn't want your drawer, did you? you just wanted to check out that new machine.' i shuffle over and get it.

jim sneaks up for my break. he says 'i don't believe you went on break and didn't invite me.' i never invite him. he does a good enough job of inviting himself. he talks about me leaving. he asks when, and i say friday morning. he says how we never got to see that movie... he keeps bringing it up, so finally i just say 'we'll see it in the fall, when i get back,' and then hope that i didn't just do a very bad thing. i don't want to lead him on... i just don't want him to feel bad either. why does this have to be so difficult? he asks for my email address and tells me he'll email me, and then gives me his. i don't know what i'm supposed to do with that... do i email him? i think i'll wait to see if he emails me first, and if he does, i'll just sit down and have a good cry, unless it says something like 'i was thinking, you and i could be good freinds, but probably nothing more will ever come out of it.' i wish...

i about never see christine. she comes over to clean my drawer once and she smells so fucking good. when she leaves, i can still smell her. i stand perfectly still, and breath in deeply and i want to chase her and find more smell.

i take my last break with jeff and i'm mad at myself for that. we usually play, like throwing stuff, so i don't talk much. but there was nothing to play with, so he was teasing me about my eating habits, and i started answering him and trying to tease him back, only i was having a particulary hard time speaking coherently today. things kept coming out jumbled, and he's not used to that. he just looked at me funny, every time i said the wrong words. i think i have a disease. is there a mental illness where people are smart enough, but just can't talk? if i had left yesterday, i wouldn't have worried about what jeff thought, but now i'm worried that he's going to think of me as this strange blabbering idiot.

jane switched shifts with somebody, so she was in today. at the end of the day, she asks me to go get carts, and do the trash, and when i give her the trash bags back i tell her i'm going to leave now (it's time.) she says 'i'm not going to see you tomorrow.' i don't know what to say. does 'bye' work? i just stand there, so she says 'well have a good summer.' i say thanks, and she says 'make sure you give us a call in the fall.' i tell her i will, and then leave.

christine is out in the parking lot, talking to the cop and smoking. she didn't used to smoke but she started about a month ago. she says 'see you tomorrow,' as i leave.

now i am all worked up because i don't want to say goodbye to christine like i did to jane. i want to really say bye, not just stand there like an idiot. only i don't know how. i wouldn't have even said bye to jane at all if it wasn't for her. what if christine doesn't try to say bye to me? i have to start my summer on a good note, or i don't know what i'll do. i am going to spend the rest of the night packing and trying out different ways to say bye.