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stupidfool
i don't know what i did... i just wanted to move off-campus, that's all. and when i found out i could live with marie, i wanted to do that too... but i didn't want my current roommate to hate me. i didn't want marie's mom to hate her. i didn't want for marie's scholarship to be suspended, until her mom figures out just what's going on. i never meant to make marie cry. and i certainly didn't mean to eliminate all my roommate options, or to lose $300 to a rental company that i'm not going to rent from... how did this happen?

it helps a little that the world is on my side. rashid is trying harder than i am to find me a roommate. he keeps coming up with suggestions and even though i don't like any of them, i really appreciate the effort he's putting into it. alyssa is the one who initially took the phone call from marie's mom, and the one who witnessed marie bursting into tears when she got off the phone, so she knows what's going on... and she offered to let me move in with her and sam (the girl) next year, because they're moving off-campus. tasha says to give it some time, and maybe things will work themselves out. teena says that she bets if i call the rental place, i can get at least some of that deposit back, since we haven't even put in the applications yet. sam (the girl) and kelly both say that molly is being ridiculous, and that i shouldn't blame myself. they say that if molly had a problem with any of this, she should have told me about it from the start, instead of just deciding to hate me and ignore me once i got so far into it. sam (the boy) says he'll move in with me. (i think he's joking.)
it's really nice of them to look out for me like that... but they're all trying to solve the problems that i say i have, and my real problem (or the one that's bothering me the most, anyway) is that i just want to live with marie. and nobody's solution involves that...

i didn't see her today. i won't see her again until sunday... and i'm worried about her. i wish i could be with her, now... i wish i could have been there to hold her when she cried... sure, i want to live with her, and yeah, i want to have a place to live when my lease ends... but more than any of that, i just want her to be happy. i don't want her to cry, or to be upset, and i don't want her to say things like, 'i hate me.' it breaks my heart to hear her say that... i hope she's ok...