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i miss christine (not really related to this, but i do...)
my internship makes me angry. today was a very strange day though. jim sent me a long email. it wasn't really serious. most of the time, he was just joking around, which is typical jim. but it was funny. i read it, and i just laughed outloud, right there in my crowded little cubicle. my cubemates all turned to look at me and i just turned a little red and shrugged it off. the one guy, brian, i actually talk to sometimes, and i get along better with him than i do with anyone else there (which isn't saying much). i like anna becuase she's hot, but becuase she's hot, i'm scared to death of her, and absolutely silent, so she probably thinks i'm a stuck-up snob, which makes me even more scared to talk to her. anyway, i kept the jim email open all day. i would start to get angry becuase i was stuck here at this desk, or becuase i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing, and i would just pick a part of the email to read, read until it made me smile, and then go back to work. it's the first time since i started this job that i haven't come home from work angry. i always bring some angry music with me, so i'm prepared for the ride home. but today, i voluntarily listened to 'nsync on the way home, even though i brought my godsmack cd with me. it is the strangest thing ever. i can't even type this without thinking "gee loser, it sounds like you like jim." but i don't. i swear i don't. i sit there and daydream about christine all day, not jim, but christine's not sending me any email. if i'm not there, i don't matter to any of them, except jim. i wonder if i ever cross her mind. i wonder if she would ever even think about emailing me if she had my address. probably not. but jim did. and so far, that's the only thing that's kept this internship from making me angry. i've typed about a million sentances to try and explain this, but none of them are right, and i wind up erasing them and trying again. alana emails me every day at my internship, becuase she knows how much i hate it. and molly does too, with all the columbus news she has for me. but none of that keeps me sane. maybe it's just a coincidence... maybe i'm just getting used to the internship, and i would have been fine today even without an email from jim. yeah, but probably not... i don't get it.