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last night was not a good night. i don't really feel like talking about most of it, but i will say this, because it's the one thing where i think i'm at least partially justified in feeling upset.

kyle is coming this morning, at 7 a.m., to visit marie. she gets off work at 7 a.m., and she's going to spend the rest of the day with him. this morning was when she and i were supposed to go out with alyssa. i had pretty much assumed that since she was the night cashier, and didn't get off until 7 a.m., that she wouldn't want to do anything saturday morning, besides sleep. so i figured that our get-together was off. but evidently, she doesn't mind being awake, and the only reason our get-together isn't happening is because something better came along.

this bothers me, a lot, because it's not just like regular, where she ignores me for a few days because kyle is around. this time, she actually had plans with me. it wasn't just a tentative, 'yeah, we might go out saturday morning...' we had seriously discussed them several times, and they had even settled out the details-breakfast would be at jack and benny's, and we would go to easton to shop. she was going to call me saturday morning, to make sure i woke up in time to go. they even had specific stores in mind (but i don't remember the names). i wrote it down on my calendar, and planned on going. and on wednesday, when i asked her about it, she was all excited about it, and was telling me how much fun it would be to go shopping with me, and pick out clothes for me to try on... but then thursday, when jane told her she was going to be the night cashier, and i asked if that meant our little excursion wouldn't be happening, she acted like she didn't even know what i was talking about. at that point, kyle had probably told her that he could visit, and instead of telling him that she had plans for saturday morning, she said fine. and then friday, she TOLD me that kyle was coming to visit. it's not enough for her to just blow me off for him... she's got to make sure that i know that she's blowing me off for him. i'm hurt, a little, but (due in part to the other events of that night) i'm mostly just mad... on my list of people who deserve to be disliked, she is second only to my evil roommate...

despite all that, i still find it comforting to cuddle up with the sweatshirt that smells like marie... and i think that bothers me more than anything she's done to me.

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gosh, marie is really a....[bad name]
I know there's been times she's been partially good, but she still sucks...but you'll eventually get over her, you will...

yeah, and i sure wish i knew what to do to make 'eventually' come sooner...

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