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i am in a state of perpetual nervousness. ever since i stopped feeling physically sick, i've been nervous... i'm going to lose insane amounts of weight if the butterflies in my stomach won't make room for food...

reasons i am nervous:

i had a really hard final to take.
it's over, so now i worry that i failed it.
i had two finals today and hadn't studied enough.
they're over, so now i worry that i did poorly (but i think i passed).
i still have another final on wednesday, and it should be about as hard as the first one!

on a related note, i know that in at least one of my classes, i will get a grade lower than a b... and i'm really worried about what my parents will think or say when they find that out...

i want to know for sure that i have a place to live next year. i want to know for sure that i have a roommate, and a move-in date. i don't like it when things are half-planned. i like everything to be concrete and definite, and this is not. i'm still worried that at any moment, marie's mom and the boyfriend will break up, and i won't have a roommate any more. even though we've got the deposit down, i'm worried that no places will open up that week... or the week after that... and this lease will end and i'll have no place to go.

and then there's that entire list of t4 worries (see previous entry)...

ok, debbie. breath in. breath out. have heart attack. get dressed for work.

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just think...at least your throat feels healthy and comfortable!
hmm, having a heart attack doesn't seem like that bad of a suggestion right about now, but for me, actually.....

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