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you know what i want? when i decide not to go to the gay club, because my 'friends' have ruined my life and i've spent the past day crying and feeling alone, and i'm too afraid that i'll end up feeling more alone there than i do at home, i want a friend who won't just say, 'ok, bye.' i want a friend who will stay at home with me, and play video games or watch a movie or just sit and talk to me, so i don't have to feel so alone. is that a really selfish thing to want?

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that doesn't sound selfish at all, must be fate that I read this entry, right now I feel almost exactly the same, makes me want to scream sometimes when I just want to sit and talk or watch movies or whatever, hope you feel better, that's all you can do

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