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live from columbus...
well, i'm back. i'm not as glad as i thought i would be. i'm still me. no matter where i go, i can't escape me, and i think sometimes, in my excitement to get away, i forget that.

anyway, thursday, i worked with sandy. even though her and brandy are going to school in the area, i hadn't really talked to sandy or even seen brandy since holly left and brandy quit. today, sandy was joking around with me a lot though, especially when she found out it was my last day. she was asking who she was going to make fun of, and all kinds of stuff like that. even though she was teasing me, she was saying she would miss me, and sounding like she was meaning it. (i don't really think it's possible for most people to talk to me without teasing me a little.) actually, everyone there was really nice about it being my last day. gerard said i could come back any time i was in town and wanted to work, even if it was just for a week. molly asked if i was sure i had to go back, and even codi said they'd miss me, and codi almost never talks to me. martha and eileen told me to make sure i stopped in over christmas. so i went to leave, and sandy said 'wait loser, you can't leave! come back here and give me a hug!' i obliged, and as i headed back, i asked her if she ever talked to brandy. the thing is, i like brandy just fine. the only reason i asked about her, though, is becuase i feel like she's my link to holly. sandy rolled her eyes and said yeah, brandy called her all the time, like 5 times a day. it makes me wish brandy had my phone number. i told sandy 'well next time you talk to her, tell her that i'm heartbroken becuase she never got me a plastic spoon.' (a plastic spoon had been part of the gag gift that they had gotten for holly, and while i was talking to brandy about it, before sandy had showed up, i had joked that i was jealous that nobody had ever given me a plastic spoon before i left for school. brandy had answered that she would get me a plastic spoon before i left, she promised.) sandy said she'd pass on the message, and gave me a dramatic goodbye hug, which was probably more of a performance for the rest of the front end than an actual hug. i still felt slightly uncomfortable. as i went to leave, she asked about the spoon, so i explained, and she said 'are you gunna be home tonight?' i told her yeah, i'd be packing. she said she'd bring me a spoon. i laughed. i didn't really believe her. i don't know sandy that well, but that's the sort of thing that holly says all the time, and never actually does it. she's told me she'd bake me a cake, make me a milkshake, take karate with me, throw me a party... she's got great intentions, but the second the words leave her mouth, she forgets she ever said them. so i wasn't really expecting sandy to show up at my door that night, but she did, with brandy. and not only had they brought me a plastic spoon, but they had also brought me bread, cottage cheese, and sardines. i laughed and thanked them, and we hung out for a little. i asked how holly was doing, and got a brief update from brandy. (i get the impression that once brandy finds out how to contact you, she never stops contacting you, so it didn't surprise me that she knew what was going on with holly.) they got my email address at school, and promised to come visit me sometime. jessica (who threw the party over winter break) is going to school with me, and so are a few of brandy's friends from school, so they said of course they'd stop in and see me. sandy left first, becuase she had to be home. she gave me another hug, which i returned. me and hugs are a funny thing... then she left and i talked to brandy for a while, and then she left too, without the hug, which was fine with me.

i packed, moved, unpacked. you know, typical moving stuff. our apartment is not nearly as nice as we had thought it would be, but we're dealing with it. the biggest problem i have with it is that the kid underneath me has a stereo system like you wouldn't believe. it's so good that i can sit in my room, and the music just surrounds me. i can feel the bass like crazy. this would be great if i always wanted to listen to his choice of music, when he wanted to hear it. unfortunately, he seems to enjoy playing music at hours when i would normally enjoy sleeping. my first night here, i got 3 hours of sleep, and it wasn't even becuase i was screwing around. it was becuase i was lying in bed, trying to shut out the noise for hours, and not succeeding. i'm hoping that's just becuase it was the first friday night since they moved in, and from now on, he'll keep it at a more reasonable level. i haven't been in my room much today, but i haven't noticed it.

for a while, it was just me and alana. i didn't know how to contact nikki or katie, and molly and lauren hadn't moved in yet. i'm scared to let myself hang out with alana too much, becuase i don't want to start liking her more than i want to like her. she feels bad for me since i have nobody else to do stuff with though, so she always invites me to go places with her and her boyfriend, and when i decline, she thinks it's becuase i still have a problem with him, or think they don't want me there, and tries way too hard to convince me to come, so i end up with her too much. i'm sure i'll be fine... i'm just scared. alana is a good friend and i don't want to mess that up for either of us.

i went grocery shopping for just a few basics, like milk and bread, with alana and her boyfriend. we went to big bear, and i didn't recognize either of the people at the desk. when i went back to check my schedule, a lot of things had changed. enough people had quit that i had to look twice to find christine on the page. she had moved up quite a bit. jp quit. his last day was thursday, so i missed him. terrie, who was supposed to quit 3 months ago, is still there. i used to be between trent and marie on the schedule. i didn't lose my seniority becuase i'm still above trent, but while i was gone, 2 baggers switched to cashier, and now they're both between marie and me. christine isn't working such late shifts anymore, but i still am, which is rather upsetting. it used to be that if i was lucky enough to get to work with her, i'd usually work my whole shift (or the majority of it) with her. now it seems that if i'm lucky enough to work with her, i only get to work with her for a few hours. my first day back is monday, but christine has the day off. wednesday, i work with her for 6 hours, and that's the most i see her all week. not that i analyzed this or anything... with all this information in my mind, i didn't even think to check jim's schedule. i'm a little worried about seeing him. is this going to be awkward?

today, nikki called me, and i went with her for a while. i also went and saw hardball with alana and her boyfriend. it was a really sad movie. it had a happy ending, i guess, but for being happy, it sure was sad. if that makes any sense... but it was a good movie and i liked it. then a guy came to give us internet access, so i checked my email, and brandy sent me THREE emails. i haven't gotten around to emailing her back yet. maybe tomorrow. right now, it's bedtime for me and my 3 hours of sleep...