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dude, what if i get it??
so i never told you why i've been going crazy over religion lately, but i just thought of something that might make something make sense...

it went like this:
i like girls. that's how it started. like holly (from home), who i love in a mostly non-sexual way, could totally turn me on, just by touching me. and then if i had sex with her, it would be beautiful, because i love her... which is maybe how sex is supposed to be, not like it would be with marie at first, or with sammie, where i just see their body and get all turned on like i want that...
ok, but then i also like stacy. a lot. and when he kissed my neck, that turned me on, too. i like him enough that i could probably have sex with him and not hate it and not hate myself afterwards. (in real life, i would never do it. just bear with me for a minute.)
if he can turn me on, it follows that just about any guy could turn me on, given the right situation, and if i was in the right frame of mind. like if i was getting all hot and bothered thinking about holly, and then some guy came up and gently touched my neck, that would probably turn me on. and then (again, this wouldn't happen in real life), i could see that it could theoretically lead to more. like if for some reason, i was in a dark room laying in bed, getting all hot and bothered thinking about holly, and some guy came up and touched my neck and layed with me and started cuddling with me, i could see how things could get carried away, and i could end up having sex with him. i mean, sex is sex, and if the touches are the same, then the physical feelings should be the same. and if you're separating emotional from physical, then i suppose it wouldn't be that far-fetched, to think that i could enjoy having sex with a guy, if i got caught up in the moment.

the reason that i know it would never happen in real life is because i know that if it did happen, when it was over, i would feel terrible. i would feel like i had let lust overpower me, and given in to these terrible degrading feelings... even though there is no moral guideline that tells me this, i would feel like i had done something that was morally wrong. and i don't think i could ever get so caught up in the moment that i would be able to forget how much i would hate myself afterwards.

but the enlightenment that follows: this, then, is likely why so many straight people think that being gay is wrong. because they can't imagine having sex with a person of the same sex, unless it was a situation like i described above. and afterwards, they would feel dirty and terrible, like they had done something wrong. they are unable to comprehend that for gay people, the situation is reversed, so they just assume that if a girl is having sex with a girl, it's because she's so caught up in the moment that she doesn't care that she doesn't love the girl, or that what she's doing is unnatural and morally wrong...

and then comes the bible. when people talk about how the bible claims that being gay is wrong, don't they refer to some passage about men having sex with men, and how this is giving themselves up to unnatural and degrading passions, or something like that?
because today, that suddenly makes sense to me. if these men were straight men, then having sex with men would be unnatural and degrading, and i can understand why God (do i believe in God?) would condemm that. just like God would probably condemn me for having sex with a random man. i guess that many bible-thumpers aren't open-minded enough to interpret this as anything but a condemnation of homosexuality, but i think that maybe what he's trying to say is not that men shouldn't have sex with men, but that you shouldn't have sex if you're just caught up in aimless lust, because sex should be about commitment and love...

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My views on religion

but i think that maybe what he's trying to say is not that men shouldn't have sex with men, but that you shouldn't have sex if you're just caught up in aimless lust, because sex should be about commitment and love...

That is one of the most sensible, forthright interpretations I've ever heard...way to go for formulating it! Living in a Catholic family, in which one parent works in the church and one parent is heavily involved, I've had to struggle with my views and beliefs on religion, so this is my interpretation. I'm aware that the Bible and the Catholic Church and the Bible condemn homosexuality as a sin, but this is irrelevant to me. First of all, we've grown up to adore the Bible as sacred, but the Bible is nothing more than interpretations and opinions written by men...in a sense, written by us! There is no valid proof that God himself will damn all gays to hell. If this is true, then God considers it a sin and 99.9 percent of us are headed to hell since we all commit much more graver sins than being gay. I don't believe that God (I do believe in God), in all his goodness and forgiveness, would damn us to hell for feeling natural feelings of love for other human beings, no matter who they happen to be. I simply don't buy any interpretation from the Bible that homosexuality is wrong (or for that matter, I don't live by the Bible whatsoever). While the Bible is a respectable document, it is a model, not the absolute cornerstone for life. Secondly, religion is based on faith, and while this may be controversial, nothing that we profess is backed up by proof. This is very complex to explain, but who says that homosexuality is wrong? Of course, this statement would lead to opinions such as "Why get sacrements" or "So what if I commit sins" or "Who even says there is a God?!" I don't have the answer. What you should deduce from this is that none of us have the answers to any of these questions! We rely on faith, all in different ways, and I don't believe that God will damn me to hell for living my life in the natural way I know how. I grew up with attractions to men, nothing influenced that, so my faith tells me that I should continue living as a good Christian who happens to be gay. Under this sphere, I'm not suggesting causing reckless harm to other people such as murder--I'm saying that people should be good people, even if we don't have concrete, scientific proof whether there is a God or not, because there is no excuse to cause pain to other people. I'm suggesting living your life true to yourself that does not harm or intrude other human being's lives.

(This ideology was very complex for me to write..hopefully you can disseminate my general idea from it. I plan to write a long post detailing my religious beliefs sometime in the future).

Re: My views on religion

yeah, i understand what you're saying, and it makes a lot of sense to me. i am not sure if i believe in God, but i do feel that if he exists, he wouldn't condemn anybody for loving somebody. i agree that the most important thing is that people are good. i think that the bible is intended to teach morals, and i think that i have pretty good morals... as long as i'm not lying, stealing, hurting anybody, etc, i don't think simply being gay can be wrong, in God's eyes.

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