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how i ensured that i would never be asked to speak in public again
oh, and the speech. there weren't that many people, or at least not compared to graduation. maybe like 100. lots of engineering students, a few interns, and company representatives from a few different companies, including mine. ummmmm i made people laugh. i got up there and didn't have a clue what to say. alana's boyfriend had told me to picture the crowd in their underwear. i told him that was a bad idea becuase i would probably say something stupid like 'hey, how come nobody's wearing any clothes?' he said he would pay me $20 if i did that. some other people went first, telling about their internship. they all had notes and carefully planned out speeches, and i knew i was in trouble... so when i got up there and my mind went blank, i figured i may as well make $20... i let the impulsive 7-year old in me take over, and i said it. they laughed. then i explained why i had said it and everyone laughed. and then i said 'see, but they pay you well when you have an internship. all summer long, i never had to do stupid things like this for money...' and they laughed again. so i just started going with it. i knew i didn't have enough stuff to say about this job to fill up a whole speech, especially since i didn't want to say anything bad about it, so i joked around and acted 7. i told them how i learned about weddings by working there, from the girl i shared a cubicle with, and when the guy in charge looked like he was about to kill me, i said, in mock-surprise 'oh, that's not the kind of thing you were looking for? my bad,' and then mentioned a little bit about learning html... and then went back to joking about how they buried me in a pile of books my first day there and it took me the whole first week just to read my way out of the pile. 'but after that first week, it got better. no, really...' it got to the point where they were just used to laughing. like, i would say things that weren't even funny, and they would laugh just because i was speaking. i remember terrie saying 'it's not what you said... it's how you said it... you're just so cute...' and i think that's sorta what was happening now, only instead of 2 people laughing, there were 100... it was a real strange feeling... it was sorta neat, but not so neat that i wouldn't rather be sitting in my seat, observing. i don't like being in front of people. so i kept it short. i don't think the company reprentatives were too happy with me. i don't care. i have no desire to work for any of them. i took off as soon as it was over, and alana and her boyfriend followed, raving 'my god loser, you were so cute!' and 'that was awesome!' it's too bad you can't make a living off of being cute...

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haha maybe u should become an comedien

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