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so i did go to class today. that's two weeks and two days straight. i am impressing myself like mad crazy.

and then i sent that email to jim and headed off to work. work was completely dull. there was no marie, no jim, no christine, no terrie, and there wasn't even a jane. having none of them to worry about left me plenty of time to worry about the email i just sent jim... every time i remind myself loser, you actually SENT that email to jim, i panic. i want to hide or hit myself in the head. i'm scared. i don't know what to expect. i don't know if he's going to answer it. i don't know if i'm going to have to wait until friday to get his reaction. i don't know what his reaction's going to be. in a way, i almost hope he decides that he has no interest in forgiving me. then i won't have to tell him the truth. but then he won't speak to me and i don't want that either. and i need to tell the truth... i'm just scared. that's all.

i got carts. i feel like i should say this becuase all i ever say is what i think. so here's what i did: i got carts. when i brought them inside, instead of turning them 90 degrees to the left, i turned them 270 degrees to the right becuase it seemed easier, at the time. billie laughed. when my shift was over, there were still carts out there so i asked if i could finish and billie smiled and said i could. so i finished. it was cold but i was hot. i sweated. i thought. and i was scared of the email i sent jim. i give up. i can't avoid that subject. i hope he answers soon, before i go crazy... so i'm going to bed, and maybe i'll have an email for jim waiting for me when i wake up...