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fuck life
my life fucking sucks. work today. christine and marie were both there. marie ignores me, except for the few times she asked me what in the world i was doing, like i'm weird, even though everything i was doing had perfectly logical explanations. once i went up to the service desk to get a carton of cigarettes and christine hands it to me but when i go to grab it, she snatches it back. i jump back, becuase somehow that scared me, and she just laughs. that's the only half-positive interaction i had all day. once i went up to get a key and when she gave it to me, my thumb touched hers and i hate myself. i do. she talks and laughs with marie and helen and jane and tyrone of course, and even the fucking policeman on duty, but i'm just some random person and it's killing me. i am killing me. i hate me. i am more homophobic than half the straight people in this world. why can't i be someone else? or why can't i be happy with who i am? i hate my fucking life.


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