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i went to work. there was a guy subbing behind the service desk. it was a bad day for me and work. like, i was ok, but every machine went haywire on me, and i did more than my fair share of messing things up. some guy stole $80 worth of groceries. this wasn't all my fault, but it sort of was. and i printed all kinds of stuff on the wrong things and just messed up a lot. so i spent half my day up at the service desk, sounding helpless, confused, and stupid. i think i made a real great impression on the sub guy...

finally, it got late, and it was just me and helen on register. there were no customers and we were out of extra rolls of register tape, so without asking anybody but helen (who has absolutely no authority), i closed off and went upstairs and got some. i filled up all the register holes and still had extra. it goes in the locked cabinet, and the key was at the service desk. i went to ask for it. michelle and the sub guy were around the corner. i called 'hey, i need to put the... the...' and i couldn't remember the word. i start again-'i need to put this... this...' and i still can't remember. i start from the other end. 'i need the key to the locked cabinet so i can put the...' by now, they're both out from the corner and looking at me, so i finish by pointing at the register tape and saying 'the this inside.' i feel dumb. michelle gives me the key and i put the tape away real fast and come back to give the key back. they're around the corner again, talking. she's saying 'she's really really intelligent,' which doesn't register until a while later. i call 'hey,' to get her attention. they don't hear me, and she keeps on talking in a low voice. i wait for her to finish talking, so she can hear me call for her. she says 'her mind just works on this higher level. she's full of complex thoughts, and sometimes she just forgets everyday things, like simple words, becuase-' all of a sudden, i realize they're talking about me and i sure don't mean to be eavesdropping. i call 'hey,' a lot louder this time, and she comes from around the corner and takes the key from me.

i leave and i am not happy about this. i hate that. it's not that i don't want people to think i'm smart. i'm never going to call myself smart, becuase i hate when people are full of themselves like that. but i know i'm not stupid. well actually, i am really stupid sometimes, but not always. i'm part smart, part stupid. and i get embarrassed, but i really don't mind that much if people speak highly of the smart part of me, if they have a good reason. i do a lot of stupid things, but occasionally, i do smart things. like last quarter, i got a 100% on a midterm in a class i had only attended twice and hardly studied for. that's a good reason to call me smart. but that's not what's happening here. at this place, everyone uses the stupid things i do to prove i'm smart. it's the most backwards illogical reasoning ever. sometime, somebody here randomly decided that i was smart, and now everyone twists everything i do and say to make it into proof of my intelligence. it doesn't matter how dumb the thing is-if i do or say it, it's becuase i'm smart. if i all of a sudden started rolling around on the ground and screaming about dead elephants, they would find some way to say 'she's only doing that becuase she's so smart.' they start with the conclusion (i'm smart). then they take stupid things i do (like forgetting words), and figure out a way to twist the facts until they support the conclusion (since we know she's smart, she must just be forgetting the words becuase her mind is on a higher level and she's too busy thinking about complex things to remember such simple words.) and then they take all the evidence they've created, and use it to 'prove' the initial conclusion (since we know that she's only forgetting words becuase her mind's on a such a high level, she must be smart.) but the only way they arrived at that conclusion was becuase initially, they assumed the conclusion. it's been a while since i've had a class in logic, but i'm sure there's logic error here. circular reasoning? i dunno, something like that, and it bothers me a lot more than it would if their conclusion wasn't about me. i wish i knew when this started and who started it. i wanna say christine... but it's probably just becuase i want to credit everything in the world to her just so i can talk about her. it's been... 17(?) days since i've seen her. it's been over 2 weeks, i know that. i miss her...

this is still early for me, but i gotta wake up for classes tomorrow. i'm going to bed.

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Logic breakdown

Not wanting you to think that I'm stalking you via your diary (I'm not, honest!), but the argument is valid but unsound (I think that's the right way around) thus:
It's based on the classic argument form,
If A then B
Therefore B
(A obviously being that your mind is on a higher level and too busy to think of simple words, B being the conclusion that you're smart).
The form of the argument is valid (i.e. it cannot be refuted by logic), but the premise makes it unsound - a sound argument is not only one that has a valid argument form, but one where you would not reject any of the premises. The argument has only one premise - which you have already rejected on the basis that it does not make sense - and that's why it cannot be accepted.

There is also an element of circularity to it, but that is more of an epistemological question (I think). I'll shut up now.

The Small Faced Boy

it's ok, i don't feel stalked...

see, but i was thinking about the entire arguement. like, symbolically

if (b and c) then a
therefore a
if a then b
therefore b

(keeping a and b how you defined them, and c being that i forget words)

i guess it would still be valid but unsound... while it's true that they used a false premise, my main problem with their argument form was that in order to arrive at the conclusion (b), they had to use b as a premise. even if b were true, this would still be an invalid proof, becuase they used b to prove b. i can't remember if there's a name for that or not. like 'assuming the conclusion', only fancier...

anyway, i feel like i'm in math class, so i'm really going to go to bed now...

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