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stupidfool
i have no time to be doing this... so real fast. yesterday at work i had an early shift. went like this:

10:30-i'm on regiser. a fairly nice-lookin woman comes through my line. she has a baby seat in her cart, but the baby is covered in blankets. as i ring up her groceries, we converse.
lady: is terrie here?
me: no, she doesn't come in til noon.
lady: oh, i thought she said she worked at 7:30.
me: *helpfully* maybe she meant her other job.
lady: yeah, maybe
so i remember this conversation, figuring it will give me something to say to terrie when she comes in.

11:50-terrie comes in for the day and comes straight to my register, not even taking the time to take her coat off. i'm so surprised to see her standing there that i forget what i had to tell her and just stare blankly. after about a second, though, she talks to me.
terrie: was there a sexy lady in here asking for me?
(i hesitate. does saying yes to this mean i thought she was sexy? she only leaves the silence for another second)
terrie: with a baby?
me: oh, yeah. she thought you worked at 7:30.
terrie: i was supposed to, but i switched.
me: oh.
terrie: she said it was you she had talked to, and i was like 'no way! she never works that early!' but i guess it was...

12:30-terrie comes over and bags for me! prudy and liz are not here today, so i guess it's not so surprising... she bags in silence for not very long at all before she starts talking to me.
she says, 'she's my ex. well, not really. well i guess she is. well i don't know.'
i am silent because here she is, completely admitting she's a lesbian again and i don't know how to react to that. my gut instinct is to duck. instead, i ask a question that i figure might be ok, and might not give away anything about myself: 'how can you not know?'
at this point, she goes into a detailed explanation of how she doesn't know. the short story: she likes this lady. the lady likes her. the lady is currently involved, but keeps telling terrie that she's going to break off that relationship. except for that she never does. but terrie has seen her in the past and was always waiting for her to break off the other relationship. but she was never really 'dating her,' because as long as the lady was involved, she wouldn't do that. but, 'circumstances being different, i would love to date her, you know?'
i stammer, 'uhhhh, yeah,' and i think it's a miracle that i've survived that entire explanation because i swear i thought i was going to explode. i didn't even duck. just curled my toes up and kept scanning groceries.


12:45-terrie talks to sarah about heartbreak, and how this lady would have broken her heart, but she's getting immune. they talk a long time and even though i'm glad it's not me she's talking to, i wish it were me she was talking to. i think i make no sense.

1:00-i go to terrie with my drawer to ask where she wants me. she's talking to teena. i wait.
terrie: and the baby was so cute! it was adorable!
teena: yeah, i bet... so, did two you get a little extracurricular?
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<wink,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

i have no time to be doing this... so real fast. yesterday at work i had an early shift. went like this:

10:30-i'm on regiser. a fairly nice-lookin woman comes through my line. she has a baby seat in her cart, but the baby is covered in blankets. as i ring up her groceries, we converse.
lady: is terrie <insert last name> here?
me: no, she doesn't come in til noon.
lady: oh, i thought she said she worked at 7:30.
me: *helpfully* maybe she meant her other job.
lady: yeah, maybe
so i remember this conversation, figuring it will give me something to say to terrie when she comes in.

11:50-terrie comes in for the day and comes straight to my register, not even taking the time to take her coat off. i'm so surprised to see her standing there that i forget what i had to tell her and just stare blankly. after about a second, though, she talks to me.
terrie: was there a sexy lady in here asking for me?
(i hesitate. does saying yes to this mean i thought she was sexy? she only leaves the silence for another second)
terrie: with a baby?
me: oh, yeah. she thought you worked at 7:30.
terrie: i was supposed to, but i switched.
me: oh.
terrie: she said it was you she had talked to, and i was like 'no way! she never works that early!' but i guess it was...

12:30-terrie comes over and bags for me! prudy and liz are not here today, so i guess it's not so surprising... she bags in silence for not very long at all before she starts talking to me.
she says, 'she's my ex. well, not really. well i guess she is. well i don't know.'
i am silent because here she is, completely admitting she's a lesbian again and i don't know how to react to that. my gut instinct is to duck. instead, i ask a question that i figure might be ok, and might not give away anything about myself: 'how can you not know?'
at this point, she goes into a detailed explanation of how she doesn't know. the short story: she likes this lady. the lady likes her. the lady is currently involved, but keeps telling terrie that she's going to break off that relationship. except for that she never does. but terrie has seen her in the past and was always waiting for her to break off the other relationship. but she was never really 'dating her,' because as long as the lady was involved, she wouldn't do that. but, 'circumstances being different, i would <i>love</i> to date her, you know?'
i stammer, 'uhhhh, yeah,' and i think it's a miracle that i've survived that entire explanation because i swear i thought i was going to explode. i didn't even duck. just curled my toes up and kept scanning groceries.


12:45-terrie talks to sarah about heartbreak, and how this lady would have broken her heart, but she's getting immune. they talk a long time and even though i'm glad it's not me she's talking to, i wish it were me she was talking to. i think i make no sense.

1:00-i go to terrie with my drawer to ask where she wants me. she's talking to teena. i wait.
terrie: and the baby was so cute! it was adorable!
teena: yeah, i bet... so, did two you get a little extracurricular? <wink, wink>
terrie: not in front of the baby! she wanted to, though.
damn... that's a new phrase, but i sure would love to get a little extracurricluar with terrie.

2:00-my register breaks and terrie helps me attempt to fix it for about 15 minutes. the entire time, i can't stop thinking about her and that lady, and the lady wanting to get extracurricular and damn is terrie hot.

that's about it, which was good because i was pretty overwhelmed. i think i'm easily ovewhelmed.

my question: how come i worked with her for over a year and she never said anything in front of me to even hint that she was a lesbian, and all of a sudden, she's talking freely about it in front of me and to me? does she think i am one? does she think that i know she knows i am one? in all these conversations, does she think it's just a given that we both know we're 2 lesbians talking to each other?