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molly and i went to the store and got our paychecks. art and terrie were back there, and art was taking forever with a customer. terrie was giggling with prudy over the intercom, ignoring molly, me, and all the other customers. after a while, though, she noticed us. she didn't get off the phone with prudy, but she did silently hand us our paychecks, and ignore us when we thanked her. after listening to me and rashid, molly had trouble keeping a straight face when she noticed who terrie was talking to. i was just frustrated, because she looked good today... it was a comfy warm sweater day again... i want her.

we went back to check the schedules. molly is switching from night shift to day shift, sometime. not next week, but the week after that, i think. this means that i could work entire shifts with her... i guess that doesn't really matter. i thought working with molly would be bad, but now that christine and jim are gone, i don't really care anymore. i got hardly any hours next week. well, i got about 30. but i'm used to getting about 40, and i need to keep that many to pay the rent... terrie made the schedule. i need more hours, and it's a great excuse to stare at her some more. i have to wait a little while she helps a customer, talks to monique, and by the time that's all done, it's obvious that i'm standing here to talk to her, so she turns to me and waits, and i come up with a half-normal sentance. we actually have a conversation, and i hardly even sound 7. she 'lets me in on a secret.' ann doesn't want me or alyssa or eliza or kelly or any of the college kids to get any more than 30 hours because then we could wind up getting full-time, and she doesn't want that. terrie says she would have loved to give me more hours, and if she were me, she would talk to ann, and make sure to mention that up until now, i had been working that many hours with no problems, and i don't understand why it should change now. but it's out of her control, and i have to go to ann. she said ann works tomorrow, and i do too, so i can sit down and talk to her then. i thank her and molly and i leave. the only time i've ever sat down and talked to ann was when i was getting in trouble for something stupid. i guess it's not a major issue. i have money in savings, enough to pay the rent for a few years. and as soon as i go back to school for real, my parents will pay the rent again. but i really don't want to use money i've saved when i could just work a little more and not worry about it. i need money. i need hours. but i'm scared to talk to ann...

aaron was going to go with us, but him and molly are fighting again. she said she thinks it's serious, and he said that maybe they'd be better off without each other. before, when i wondered out loud where college kids live once they graduate, she said that if she was still dating aaron, she would probably just move in with him. and she added that i could probably be like terrie if i didn't have a boyfriend by then, and just move in with some college kid who needs a roommate. today, she says we might be roommates forever. she's kind of a pessimist, though, so i don't know if it's really as bad as she says. she wouldn't tell me what they're fighting about, and i didn't push it.
i don't understand that. why do couples always fight, but friends don't? i don't ever fight with katie, but she gets in fights with her boyfriend at least once a month. i don't fight with nikki, but she's fought with every boyfriend she's ever had... i've never fought with molly, and she and aaron don't fight that often, compared to most couples... but they still fight more than i ever fight with anybody. aren't couples basically friends with benefits? and the couples don't argue about the sex part of their relationship... on the contrary, the fact that the sex is good is about the only thing they agree on when they're fighting. nikki used to complain that 'just because our bodies feel good together doesn't mean that we're good together.' but she always originally thought they were good together. i would say that people are more eager to jump into relationships than they are to jump into friendships, but i really don't think that's the case. most of nikki's boyfriends, or at least the first ones, were guys she had known forever... they had been pretty good friends since grade school, but she dates them, and then within a few months, they've broken up and they aren't speaking any more. and molly's been dating aaron for almost as long as i've known her. she didn't jump into that relationship any more than she jumped into our friendship. so what's the difference? maybe it's because of the sex... like, if you have a friend, and then you discover that you're growing apart, you just drift apart and don't worry about it. but if you're in a relationship, and you discover that you're growing apart, you're a lot more reluctant to admit it and move on because you don't want to give up the physical attraction that you have? or is there some other huge difference between a relationship and a friendship that i'm missing? i think i need to find out what aaron did, and then do the exact same thing, and see if molly gets upset with me. i wonder if that would be obvious...

we had a meeting with the teacher for group project #2. jack is still alive, which shocked us all, since we hadn't heard from him (or ying) in over a week. i think the next week is going to be hell, again. jack is still finishing up his code, and whenever he finishes, we will have less than a week to do all the testing and documentation and all that stuff to go with it. plus, we have a quiz coming up, and i haven't been paying much attention in class...

terrie was there until close tonight, again. that means i didn't go there to watch for christine

at 11 p.m. i got tired and laid on my bed and accidentally took a nap. molly turned out my lights and all that, but i woke up at 1 a.m. feeling refreshed and ready to finish my day. it's a good thing i don't have a real job, because i was not made to work a 9-5...

i was thinking about marie. it's mostly because i'm feeling rather horny, and i know i don't have a chance of touching terrie or taysha. but marie is a ho. if she knew i wanted her, i bet she wouldn't pass up a chance to get some... but i don't want to come out to her. well, i mean i don't want to get specific. she can know i'll fuck girls. i just don't want to have to discuss it with her. i'd rather just leave her wondering if i'm a lesbian, or bi, or bi-curious, or whatever. now i just need a subtle way to tell her to fuck me... i feel like a guy, when i think like that. one of those straight guys that all the girls hate because they only try to take advantage of girls. i wish i was asexual.