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stupidfool
overdose on: stressing-talking-thinking-laughing-people-noise-music-trying too hard-myself.
that's the worst one. i was too much and i've overdosed on myself and consequently, i feel (maybe incorrectly--maybe not) that everybody else has overdosed on me, too. and so i live in fear that i just lost everything. thank goodness i'm working most of the day tomorrow, and have left myself with not much time to dwell.

(objectively, it may have been a good time. i can't tell for sure.)

happy new year, world.

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how can you overdose on yourself?

i was just too much. like, i was trying to talk and have fun and be social, but i feel like i went too far, or talked to much, or joked too much, or acted too silly, and it was so bad that i just kept telling myself that i needed to calm down and stop, but then i didn't stop.
i mean, i wasn't crazy out of control or anything. i just feel like i talked a little bit too much. i should have given other people a chance. and when i get like that, all talkative and stuff, i drive myself crazy. by the end of the night i was DYING to just shut up because i had overdosed on interacting.
i don't know--maybe it's not something somebody who's not me can understand. i like to spend a lot of time alone, quiet, but around kim, i tend to be funny and talkative, so it doesn't take long for me to get sick of myself.

i was just too much. like, i was trying to talk and have fun and be social, but i feel like i went too far, or talked to much, or joked too much, or acted too silly, and it was so bad that i just kept telling myself that i needed to calm down and stop, but then i didn't stop. Ah 'The Fear'. I only ever get that after i've been drinking, i always feel like i've taking everything one step too far. it's a horrible cringing feeling.

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