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oh boy oh boy oh boy... read it outloud. nobody's home. read it outloud. ok i can do that. no i can't. no way. i can't do it. do i sound awake? what if i sound like i just woke up? i better keep talking, so i sound like i've been awake for a while. talk loser. talk. talk. i am weird. i'm talking to myself. if i'm going to talk, i may as well say the script. go loser. read. no that's dumb. this is dumb. aurgh i'm reading and it sounds DUMB. i can't really say that, can i? it's noon. you have to call. practice again. i can't. you can. i can't. i can do the message. yes i can. but i can't talk to her. not if she answers. maybe not even if she calls back. these words seem funny. i can't think of the words even now, even when she's not on the other end of the phone. what's the point in leaving a message if i'm not going to be able to talk right when she calls back? no but i can. no but i can't. did somebody just come home? no nobody's here. but i should call before they get here. it's past noon. do it, stupid!!!! ok. ok ok ok. breath in. breath out. call her.