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stupidfool
not much happened. i worked. marie was there, but almost every time i went up there, teena handled it, so i hardly saw marie, and i hardly touched her, except for twice. once i was with her and rashid, and when she walked by to go back, she brushed against me. i wonder if she did it on purpose. and then i followed her over to self-check, becuase that's where i was supposed to be, but taysha was there instead. marie was trying to straighten out where we were all supposed to be, and i stood next to her and talked to taysha, and we were close enough that when she shifted her weight, she would touch me. and then her and me and taysha were all trying to go in opposite directions, and we had a 3-way brush-against-each-other as we tried to get where we were going. i think she does it on purpose. the second time, we pushed each other a little for control over the dispensers (i wanted them out; she wanted them in). i won fast, though, because a customer wanted to use it, and i was the one running it. and that will be the end of my interactions with marie until next weekend, because she only works weekends. (actually, that's not true at all. she's only scheduled to work weekends, becuase her parents made a deal with her, and they wanted her to have school nights free to do homework. but anytime they need people during the week, they call her up and beg, and 99% of the time, she doesn't have much homework, and she'll come in.)

prudy went home sick, so terrie went home early. (i'm not sure that those two events were quite as related as i've made them...) in the time that she was here, she remarked that she hated this place. for the past 2 hours, i had been bored out of my mind on self-check, and i was having a 'does not handle boredom well' day. she had to tell me to get out of the baskets, to stop throwing highlighters at rashid, to quit going outside, to leave the carts alone, and probably a lot more that i can't remember... so i agreed emphatically, 'me too.' she laughed and said 'no you don't,' and then she answered the phone. they wanted produce, so she put them on hold and said 'call produce.' i asked why. she said because they have a phone call. just tell them that. so i said ok, and then asked, 'wait, what do i say?' she told me to say 'produce, line one,' and then repeat it, so i did. she laughed and said she didn't think i would do it. i didn't think i would have either. i never talk on the intercom. i feel like i passed some test... only i don't know what...

murphy gave me a ride home. amit let me leave early so i could catch the last bus, but either it was running really late, or i missed it. murphy drove by me at the bus stop, and offered me a ride. i didn't say no because the weather still hasn't made up its mind. i was dressed like it was still yesterday, but it was freezing. i was cold and i didn't want to walk home without a jacket, so i took the ride. murphy is nice, and i like him fine, but he felt like i would feel if i got a ride home with terrie. he didn't say it, of course, but i could tell. any silence feels awkward to him, so he tries hard to fill in the gaps, but he's a little nervous about it and has trouble coming up with things to say. it was strange for me to see that. i'm not used to being on the other end of that... i'm always the one who's nervous... it's for different reasons, sometimes. maybe terrie was a bad comparison, because i don't necessarily mean that he thinks i'm hot... i feel like that when i'm with somebody older, or somebody who i respect, or somebody who i want to be friends with, or somebody who i think is 'cooler' than me, or somebody who's hot. and maybe he has other reasons, too. i don't know what he thinks of me. i don't really care, either. it's just neat to be on the other side, for once. i thank him, and when i get upstairs, molly wants me to work on the project with her. we work for about 4 hours, and then she goes to bed. i practice conversations in my head, for thursday, because i'm not going to mess up this chance. and that's it.

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