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stupidfool
molly and i goofed off this morning. we went out for lunch. we came back here and lauren was done with finals, so she was relaxing, and alana and her boyfriend were here too. we did nothing for a while. then i went to work. work wasn't exciting, except for i agreed to loan josephine $150. that's a lot of money... she needs it to pay a hospital bill for her mother, and she's a nice lady, and i think i trust her... but it's still a lot of money, and i hope i'm doing the right thing... and i got put on a probationary period for being late too many times. fucking busses. i'm at the bus stop on time, and i'm at work on time when the busses are on time... i went upstairs, and the first thing ann said was 'you're not in trouble.' then she told me all about this probation thing, and how the next step is suspension... it sounds like trouble to me... when they yelled at me last time, they said i wasn't in trouble too... i wonder if, when they took christine upstairs to arrest her and fire her, they prefaced it by telling her, 'don't worry; you're not in trouble.'

now i'm here, and it's not all good... because i realized, a few hours ago, as i was talking to alana and her boyfriend, that today was going to be the day. lauren already went home for spring break, while i was at work. this morning, when molly and i were goofing off, that was when i was going to tell them. if i had seen christine, they would know by now... everything would be different... it would be better... but instead, they talk to the person they think i am, just like they've done ever since they met me, and it fucking sucks. christine is gone, lauren is gone, my opportunity is gone... it's all gone. i am a fucking failure.

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I lent Psycho bitch $600 bucks when her car was impounded last year. She paid me back $300 and still owes me $300 not including the interest that is on it since it was on my Credit Card. She was a psychopathetic liar out to fuck over me and Riley and pit us against each other while she stole all our friends ( and no I am not being paranoid she really did pit us together and steal all our friends - or tried. She befriended Valley [my ex] and Nikki [Riley's ex] and tried to make them not like us). But as for ppl in general I think that if they borrow a $150 bucks knowing they are going to see you on a regular basis ESPECIALLY at work then it's probably pretty safe to lend them the money.

PPl like Psycho bitch end up with ppl like me waiting patiently to see them again so that a homicide and cover can occur. :0)

As for telling the crew. YOU WILL DO IT WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO! Stop stressin. Feel up Marie look at Tasha's ass and chill and one day go home and watch a movie and comment on some chicks ass in front of them all.

Ooopssss...

Closet-->Door--->OUT


~Jay~

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