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i don't think i'm going to be able to get the job i wanted. thursday i'll go looking for other possibilities.

i forgot my name tag. i really don't do it that often, i swear. i just counted, and i have 11 name tags, which means in the entire time i've worked there, i've only forgotten it 10 times, and once was today. but terrie's always working when i forget... i gathered them all up and put them in a bag, and then i forgot to bring the bag. i realized it at the bus stop, but didn't have time to go back. so the second i got there, i made sure that terrie was on the floor, and then i ran upstairs and made myself another. they didn't have any of the new kind, only the really old ones, so i just used one of them. then i clocked in, and it seemed like every time i passed terrie, she was glaring at my name tag. then she came by me and fingered her name tag and glared at me and i felt so guilty that i decided since it was obvious that she had noticed, i'd better apologize. so i did, and i told her i'm sorry, i forgot, but there were no more new ones up there, so i had to use this one. she replied, in a non-accusing tone of voice, 'i think you do it on purpose.'
i blinked at her dumbly. why would i forget my name tag on purpose? does she think i enjoy getting glared at by her? does she not realize that my ultimate goal is not for her to think of me as an immature child, but a peer? i didn't even know what to say to that, so i replied slowly, 'i left them on my bed... i'm sorry...'
she was already walking off. she never sticks around for a conversation.

a little bit later, she came up and tapped me on one shoulder, so i turned to look, but she had already walked around me, so i had to turn and look over the other one. she grinned and laughed when i found her and i laughed too. see, now why can't she do stuff like that more often? i like that, when she touches me and laughs and smiles. i don't like it when she yells or gets upset or glares... i'd rather be prudy.

jim came in. i was on self-check and he came over to me. when terrie saw him, she ran over and gave him a big hug and i was big-time jealous. then she told me to go get carts, and she would run self-check... she does that all the time, but it sure seemed like it was just an excuse to get rid of me so she could talk to jim. about 10 minutes later, when jim left, he found me in the parking lot and stopped and talked to me. he asked if it seemed like terrie was trying to get rid of me, and i said yeah. he said maybe she was, but they weren't talking about me. she had some stuff to say, and he had to tell her that rumors about her and prudy had spread to his store. people were talking about how they would flirt and touch, right in front of the customers. i got a half of that feeling i always get when somebody mentions christine, where i want to ask a million questions, and know every single little detail, like what exactly he heard from his people, and how they knew, and what he told terrie, and how she responded. i started asking questions, but then ayrik came outside and said terrie wanted me to come in now, and i realized that it doesn't matter. i like to know the details and i like to understand the whole thing, but really, what difference will knowing make? so i made myself stop asking, said bye to jim and went inside.

mostly, i studied. taysha told me i was a dumb-dumb, so i didn't need to study, and anthony kept trying to talk to me so i wouldn't study. terrie left me completely alone, except for once to point out a cute little girl to me (she was adorable, and she talked like a grown-up... it was cute.), so besides the two of them, all i had to do was run self-check and study. i don't feel completely prepared, but i feel good enough about it that i'm going to go to sleep. i have a few hours tomorrow before the midterm to review.

josephine gave me half the money today. she said she'll have the rest next week, and she was really sorry that she didn't have it all. i told her it was fine. i'm just glad she still remembers.